How Soon Until Ricky Rubio Catches His First DUI in Phoenix?

For years, Phoenix has been on the quest for a starting point guard (which is hilarious when you remember they had Goran Dragic, Eric Bledsoe and Isaiah Thomas and traded them all away for absolutely no reason).

FINALLY, the Suns have acquired that old school pass-first point guard that can distribute the ball to Devin Booker and DeAndre Ayton, their two young stars that 1000% can create their own shot and don’t need Ricky Rubio on the court ruining the spacing because he’s a nonfactor from the perimeter.

It’ll be interesting to see how effective Devin Booker will be off the ball but we know based off his time with Donovan Mitchell, that Rubio can still be productive with a high volume shooting guard.

Phoenix still can’t guard anyone and lack depth but Rubio is an upgrade from Tyler Johnson, who is basically a computer generated player that springs up when you’ve been playing franchise mode for too long and all of the star players have retired.

It’s sort of an odd move for Rubio though who was just on Utah battling in the playoffs to now suddenly want to aid in a rebuild. Obviously, there were financial incentives for him to move to Arizona as playoff teams weren’t sprinting to the phone to offer Rubio $17 million a year.

But I suppose this also matches perfectly with Rubio’s recent rebrand. If you remember, he came into this league as a young Spaniard living in Minnesota after signing up for the foreign exchange student program.

Now he’s a tatted up Zaddy ready to get into some trouble in the Phoenix area.

I don’t leave New York often. I am not a well-traveled man. But there are only 3 things that a person can do for fun in Phoenix, Arizona:

  1. Fight
  2. Golf
  3. Drink and drive

Give Ricky Rubio one weekend with the light skinned gawd, Devin Booker and Rubio is going to be swerving lanes at 4am with glossy eyes and coke in the center console. When the cop pulls him over, Devin Booker is going to reach for his gun in the glove department and sprint off into the woods before the cop can search him. I honestly can’t wait.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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