Homeowners Hogtied Burglar Who Broke In and Ate Their Cereal

A homeowner in rural Glenoma in Lewis County got a big shock Monday morning when he awoke and found a stranger sitting at his kitchen table calmly eating a bowl of cereal. A few minutes later, the stranger found himself hog-tied along the roadside after he tried to flee.


Apparently the stranger had walked right in the house, helped himself to some cereal, poured milk on it and sat down to enjoy a bowlful.

But when the stranger saw the 69-year-old homeowner, he jumped up and ran from the house. The homeowner grabbed a rifle and ran after him.

Meanwhile, another resident of the home called 911 and deputies were dispatched to the scene.

The homeowner found the suspect – later identified as a 52-year-old transient from Tampa, Fla. – along the roadside about 500 feet from their residence and ordered him to the ground at riflepoint.

The suspect complied and the homeowner put away his rifle. The residents then hog-tied the suspect and waited for deputies to arrive, Breen said.

The suspect told deputies he had just tried a “new drug” in the woods. He also said he had been in Florida only a few hours earlier.



This sounds absurd until you get to the end of the story and see that this cereal bandit was trying a ‘new drug’ in the woods. If you had to the woods to try new drugs then there’s a 90% chance that you’re going to just wake up from a blackout hogtied in the middle of a cul-de-sac on the other side of time.

What would you do if you get home from work and there’s a complete stranger eating your Rice Krispies? There’s only one thing you can do. Hogtie that motherfucker. Everyone waits for the moment to hogtie a human being. Can’t wait for my opportunity.



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if want to try this new drug. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

Written by TheLesterLee


Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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