First, find yourself a pair of thick plastic frames. It’s cool to look and pretend to be a nerd even though you have a very low I.Q. and 20/20 vision.
Ladies, you’re going to need bangs to cover half of your face. You are mysterious and edgy, time to let everyone in the world see that.
Stop shaving, it’s time to sport the handlebar moustache. Make sure when you walk into a room, everyone stops and stares. Remember, covering half of your face with hair makes you cool and mysterious.
Now for attire. You’re going to need clothes that have a message. It needs to make people think and in the end, make people think you’re cool, funny and smart.
It’s 70 degrees out and its perfect weather to sport your ironic shirt but you’re missing something. You need to throw on the winter gear just to remind everyone how different you are. Nothing says hipster like having the warmest neck on the street.
Any combination of bowtie and/or blazer is a good combination. Let everyone know how classy you could be if you ever had anywhere important to go.
Don’t even think about leaving your house without throwing on your new, old Chuck Taylors. If you’re gonna spend all day complaining about how you should’ve been born in the ‘20’s, you better embrace the styles as well.
I know how stressful it is being so cool, so get into the habit of smoking. Everyone in the 1940’s used to smoke and you like to pretend you know things from the 1940’s so it’s perfect.
Once you get a camera, immediately locate the black and white filters and get to work building that blog. Takes photos of chairs and oceans because you are a real photographer and you’re just the coolest. You’re not a hipster unless you’re constantly updating your Tumblr.
You are so close but you’re missing one important factor, the hipster state of mind. Ladies, you must become Zooey Deschanel. You’re quirky and different and nerdy. Also, your ipod better reflect your new transformation. Nothing that’s ever been on the radio can be on your ipod. Start every conversation by saying “Rock n Roll is dead.” Or “No one will ever sing like Janis Joplin.” Or “Jim Morrison revolutionized the music industry.” If you follow these guidelines, you are guaranteed to be the coolest person ever in the history of Earth.