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Hey Ellsbury, Save Room on the 60-Day DL For Tulo

It had been rumored for a couple of weeks but the New York Yankees make it official as they driven past the Toronto Blue Jays’s house, saw the old worn out sofa sitting on their curb and scooped it up thinking ‘oh, we’ll just flip the piss soaked cushions over and this will look great in the basement’.

I tried to find Tulo’s 2018 stats and couldn’t only to remember that he missed the entire season with bone spurs. The year prior, he hit all career lows in batting average, slugging and OPS in only 66 games. Anddd he was making $20 milly a year while he was turning into dust like Thanos snapped him out of existence.

So pretty much, the New York Yankees just picked up the shortstop version of Jacoby Ellsbury except the Blue Jays are paying his salary. Cool.

The frustration with this move has nothing to do with Troy Tulowitzki’s salary. Unless HGH is allowed in the game again, the man whose stats have fallen off a cliff and can’t stay on the field doesn’t provide ‘depth’.

All this acquisition does is give Jacoby Ellsbury someone to drive to AA rehab assignments across the East Coast with.

If you want ‘depth’ then you re-sign Neil Walker. Wasn’t everyone talking about how ‘proven’ JA Happ was when they decided to sign that 36-year old to a multi-year deal instead of investing in a younger/better Patrick Corbin?

Let’s keep that same energy with Neil Walker who proved himself as someone who can be plugged into the lineup in an hour’s notice and produce.

Shit, call up someone from the minors. Not Tyler Wade. But someone who is strong enough to hold a bat on his shoulders. But to waste a 25-man roster spot on a guy who can’t hit a fastball anymore seems, um, dumb.

I should also add, if this signing happened mid-season, I would probably celebrate it. The problem is, Manny Machado and Bryce Harper are sitting out on the market and the Yankees are penny pinching by plugging holes with aging veterans.

Get Troy Tulowizki OUUUUT of here.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Troy Tulowitzki will play game 1 of the ALDS. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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