Infinity War is quickly approaching. A decade of movies has led up to this moment. From Iron Man to Black Panther and every MCU film in between has moved these chess pieces all over the world and even in space.
So where is everyone at the start of Infinity War?
Let’s get a quick refresher of the MCU so that we’re all properly prepared for the greatest movie ever made, most likely.
Iron Man is getting engaged to Pepper Potts which is right on time considering that Thanos is 1000% going to murder her or both of them. Who knows? (Probably Gwyneth Paltrow though, who very much doesn’t want to be in these movies anymore).
War Machine is still figuring out the whole ‘walking’ thing after Vision accidentally sniped him out of the sky. Still don’t understand how Tony Stark and Rhodey are supposed to be peers when Don Cheadle looks 20 years older than Downey Jr and that age can’t be great for his rehab.
Spider-Man just turned down a spot to join the Avengers and is chillin in Queens right now. Oh, his Aunt May found out his secret identity which hopefully isn’t a huge storyline heading into Infinity War because I want to see Thanos punching Peter Parker across the planet. I do not want to see Tom Holland and Marisa Tomei have like, a serious ‘talk’ for six minutes.
Vision and Scarlett Witch are hiding off the grid following Wanda Maximoff’s escape from the Raft. Sure, they were fighting on opposite sides during Civil War but ya know, love conquers all blah blah. Can’t wait til Thanos rips that Infinity Stone directly out of Vision’s cranium.
Hawkeye seems to have retired from the game and is back at home with his family that never appeared to miss him that much. The Barton fam was totally okay if Hawkeye moved back home or never came back at all. They are the ultimate role players. Hawkeye’s wife and kids are the Klay Thompson of the MCU.
Bucky is currently sitting on ice in Wakanda ready to take on the mantle of White Wolf and thanks to Wakanda being the most advanced nation in the world, it seems as though all of the evil Nazi/Hydra triggering words have been cleared from his brain and he can stop being a murdering asshole for a bit.
If you want to know what Ant-Man has been up to, be sure to check out Ant-Man and The Wasp coming soon to a theatre near you!
Falcon and Black Widow are riding in Captain America’s sidecar as they travel around the world stopping international terrorists and such. No big deal. While Tony Stark is playing with a teenage boy in Queens, Captain America is out here saving the world but he’s the ‘war criminal’. Cool Cool. Yea, totally cannot wait for Thanos to punch Iron Man’s head off of his shoulders.
Thor has no eye and no hammer but he’s got a new squad of misfits as he heads back to Earth with Valkyrie, Loki, Hulk and Korg. He also is the first of the Avengers to meet Thanos and based off of trailers, it doesn’t go well.
Doctor Strange is the Master of the Mystic Arts and magic protector of Earth, whatever that means. He also has full knowledge of the Infinity Stones and will most likely be the most important character heading into this movie as he can literally manipulate space and time and all that jazz.
Guardians of the Galaxy movies took place before most of the current MCU happened so by the time we see the Guardians again, Groot is a teenage young tree all grown up from Baby Groot. Oh, and they have Mantis now too for no reason.
Black Panther, who spent the entire movie saying that he would never share any of Wakanda’s technology with the world, murdered Killmonger and stole his idea to share Wakanda’s technology with the world. T’Challa is an asshole but when Infinity War starts he’s probably hiding in Wakanda so he doesn’t have to deal with the ‘poors’ anymore. He’s frantically washing that Oakland stink off of his hands.
But most importantly, Thanos is coming to Earth to fuck everyone up. If I haven’t made it clear already, I am actively rooting for Thanos to rip Spider-Man’s arms off of his body and then like, eat his torso whole.
I will see everyone on opening night of Infinity War. I will be the guy in the back crunching popcorn during all of the quiet parts of the movie and cheering when Thanos punts The Incredible Hulk into the sun. Can’t wait.
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