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Here is a Totally Serious and Unbiased Article About James Dolan Testing Positive For Coronavirus

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*deep breath*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Of course this entitled special needs dirty hamburglar wasn’t washing his hands and caught Coronavirus. Of course.

I bet James Dolan’s house smells like whatever trash he ate in bed two weeks ago that he’s refused to throw out because there’s still some good shrimp left in the basket.

I want it clear that I am going to continue making fun of this man for grabbing a filthy doorknob and then putting a finger in his mouth but I suppose I have the responsibility to say that no one should be wishing death upon Jim Dolan.

He is a terrible owner who was born on third base so he developed none of the business or interpersonal relationship skills necessary to succeed in the field that was handed to him by his father but he’s not an evil man.

Last week, he donated $1 million to the Madison Square Garden event staff because parents from Long Island can no longer drive in to watch Billy Joel mumble every other night anymore. That’s a good thing he did. Congrats.

That being said, I am completely okay with this real life Oogie Boogie catching an awful flu for the next two weeks.

Even if he didn’t run the New York Knicks to the ground, we don’t support billionaires here. Fuck off. No one should have billions of dollars. Especially James Dolan, who uses that money to host his own kazoo concerts at MSG. Just go have your lame music career and sell the Knicks please.

Oh wow, I just realized the only thing separating Jim Dolan and Joe Exotic is a shitload of tigers and Joe’s successful marriage.

HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA

James Dolan has Coronavirus. This is the best day of my life.

This thin-skinned asshole who bans kids when they boo him after the Knicks lose by 30 points. The tiny-dicked weirdo who banned Knicks legend, Charles Oakley. This man with zero good ideas who let Isiah Thomas run the Knicks to the ground before Thomas sexually harassed an employee and not only did Dolan not punish Thomas but he defended Isiah in court. When Isiah was finally fired from the Knicks, James Dolan put the man who groped a woman in charge of the WNBA team.

You dumb fuck.

Take alllll of this Coronavirus, you fat-faced fortunate son with dumb for brains.

Get well but do not get well soon. No, I want you to get so sick that you’re visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve.

The uncertainty of this COVID-19 pandemic is frightening and anxiety-inducing. We need people like James Dolan to catch it so that we can feel better about these times. If my elderly sickly uncle has to catch this shit then so does the greedy booger that refuses to move Madison Square Garden off of Penn Station because of the massive tax breaks he gets even though Penn Station is quite literally falling apart and Dolan is ruining New York City.

HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA

 

 

 

 


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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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