TheLesterLee
Tonight’s Happy Hour News Shot we have Steph Curry going full Alex Jones, Nicki Minaj loving sex offenders and Godzilla will murder us and our offspring.
1. Stephen Curry Doesn’t Believe We Landed on the Moon.
So it’s already happening. Little Riley Curry that we used to see at post-game press conferences is about to turn into the next Willow and Jaden Smith because she has ‘don’t believe society’s lies’ ass parents.
2. Nick Young Signs With The Denver Nuggets.
Nick Young has officially joined the squad.#MileHighBasketball pic.twitter.com/udxmXSiu9n
— Denver Nuggets (@nuggets) December 10, 2018
Swaggy P is high as hell right now.
3. Jon Gruden Gets GM Reggie McKenzie Fired.
Jon Gruden won one big game against the Pittsburgh Steelers and immediately demanded the keys to the car. What a flex.
4. The New Godzilla Trailer Isn’t Fucking Around.
Heil King Ghidorah.
FUCK YALL I MISS CARDI
— OFFSET (@OffsetYRN) December 9, 2018
Yikes.
6. The Chicago Bulls Tattled On Their New Head Coach Because They Practiced Too Hard.
The Bulls players called the NBPA because Jim Boylen made them like, play hard or something.
7. Dylan Roof’s Pen Pal Was Planning a Mass Shooting.
Hey new rule: maybe don’t allow the maniac who shot up a church have fucking PEN PALS. If so, maybe, I don’t know, take a look at what he’s writing to people?
8. Nicki Minaj’s New Boyfriend is a Sex Offender.
Nicki Minaj’s new boyfriend is a rapist. Word.
9. Lucky Kid Found MDMA in His Sonic Kid’s Meal.
I would kill for a Sonic smoothie and some molly right now. This is the luckiest kid on Earth.
10. Kyle Lauletta Fucking Sucks.
Interception for the Captain. #NYGvsWAS | #HTTR pic.twitter.com/x6ZLaC6ODu
— Washington Redskins (@Redskins) December 9, 2018
Okay yea nevermind. Sign Eli Manning to an extension.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Steph Curry is trolling so that I can unclench my fists. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.
