Tonight’s Happy Hour News Shot we have Pete Davidson crying on Instagram, Ariana Grande doesn’t give a fuck about him and Fred Hoiberg and I are both unemployed.
I have mixed feelings about people being mean to Pete Davidson. On one hand, it’s weird for everyone to pile on top of a guy who was clearly dumped by the biggest pop star in the world. On the other hand, people were going out of their way to praise this guy and his ‘big dick energy’ simply because he was seen photographed next to her. Sooo….shrug.
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Friends is probably playing on TBS right now as I write this. We’ll all be fine.
I don’t know what the Chicago Bulls are building. I don’t think the Chicago Bulls know what the Chicago Bulls are building. Fred Hoiberg is lucky to be freed from this prison.
Uh, remember at the end of the year when David West said that the team had problems that the world didn’t even know about? Yup, they had a deadly disease floating around their locker room.
Ariana Grande is a supervillain. If Pete dies we know who killed him. Thank u, next isn’t a cute breakup song. It’s a god damn threat.
I’m a comic book nerd. I won’t pretend to know who Shang-Chi is. I do, however, know a cash grab when I see one.
69 will be in prison until the end of time.
I’m running out of news stories here.
I watched exactly one (1) soccer game. Also, it’s tough to find 10 stories man. Monday’s suck.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Ariana Grande is not so secretly murdering dudes. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.