Tonight’s Happy Hour News Shot we have, Michael Cohen heading to prison, Odell Beckham is a weenie and Theresa May is in power by default.
Michael Cohen, you just got 3 years of jail time.
Still one of the great 2016 clips. 🐐
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) December 12, 2018
Baltimore is officially our team. Also the Houston Texans. Also the Buffalo Bills. Shout out Josh Allen. Stay black, Josh.
Theresa May won a vote to stay in office even though no one really wants Brexit to happen but shrug, I guess.
Earthquakes in Tennesee? *whispers* Climate Change.
Last season the Rays had only one starting pitcher and he won the Cy Young. Charlie Morton is about to be the best pitcher we’ve ever seen.
Statistically, Brandon Marshall is the best wide receiver to have never won a playoff game. That continues.
And to think he let that bear hump him for no reason.
— 🎅🏻Alex🎅🏻 (@MutMayweather) December 11, 2018
As ODB’s unofficially marketing assistant, the fuck are you doing?
Based off everything I’ve seen from DC’s Teen Titans show…I’m not watching Stargirl. Not a single second of it.
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) December 11, 2018
Nicki Minaj is an asshole. That is all.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Michael Cohen has already joined a white supremacy group in prison. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.