HAHAHAHAHA Kristaps Porzingis, You Bitch

Dallas Mavericks power forward Kristaps Porzingis was involved in a bloody altercation over the weekend at a club in his hometown of Liepaja, Latvia.

It is our understanding that Kristaps was jumped and assaulted outside of a club in Latvia. We will provide an update when one is available,” the team said in a statement.

A source told ESPN that the Mavericks’ understanding was that several Russians attacked Porzingis, who fought back before the club security broke up the scuffle. (ESPN)

Now, there’s nothing funny about a man getting jumped. Let’s make that clear. It’s an evil world we live in. Everyone should be afforded the opportunity to feel safe, especially in their home town.

Unless of course, you demanded a trade from New York because you caught a rape case and needed to flee the scene of the crime, in which case HAHAHAHA LOOK AT THIS BITCH.

This geek is 7’3 with a head wound. I don’t know anything about Latvia. It’s very possible that everyone there is just 7-feet tall but from the look of his ripped shirt, it would appear as though Porzingis was ragdolled out there by some Russian strong man and we need to see that footage.

Release the piss tapes. Release the Porzingis getting the piss beaten out of him tapes.

Also, never a great look for a man in the middle of a rape case to be seen on camera shoving a woman. This couldn’t have happened to a shittier guy. I’m proud of my Russian feminist brothers.

And there are murmurs that the men who beat him up were angry Knicks fans. Really? That’s what the Mavericks ‘investigation’ determined? Fuck out of here.

Mark Cuban is a delusional weirdo who thinks the world is out to get him. Rich white men are so desperate to play victim. No, KP didn’t get jumped by Knicks fans, you narcissist. He got jumped because he’s a weirdo and people in his own home town don’t respect the way he moves in the streets, regardless of what club he plays for back in the states.

Kristaps Porzingis: Lifelong Dallas Maverick, rapist and loser of fist fights. Gross.

Sign Up For The Deadseriousness Newsletter

Don’t worry, we don’t spam


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

Leave a Reply