A man suspected of huffing and doing naked jumping jacks in the women’s restroom of a South Nashville fast food restaurant has been charged.
Brody Young, 25, was taken into custody Monday on charges of criminal trespassing, public intoxication and public indecency.
Metro police were called earlier in the day to the McDonalds on Nolensville Pike near Harding Place where a man wearing no clothing was locked in the women’s restroom and refused to leave, despite numerous attempts by management.
According to an arrest affidavit, officers responded to find Young naked and locked in a stall where management said he had been “all day.”
Police reported Young “was erratic,” “doing jumping jacks and hitting the wall” and “smelled strongly of chemical fumes as if he had been huffing.”
Brody Young woke up one morning feeling motivated and ready to make a change in his life. He decided to be more active and wanted to get some jumping jacks in and next thing he knows, he’s behind bars. This is America.
Also have to give a shout out to my man Brody for bringing back huffing. These stories involving meth and heroin and bath salts are quite derivative. Everyone’s a follower when it comes to getting high and turning into maniacs. You really have to respect Brody for hovering over a custodian’s cleaning cart, inhaling and then heading to the local McDonald’s to give himself a boot camp.
As far as this taking place in the women’s bathroom, it’s safe to say that Brody Young wasn’t really in the state of mind to discern which bathroom is which and if anything, that makes him pretty progressive. He’s gender fluid. Gender is a construct that binds us and holds us from our potential. Brody was breaking barriers, actually.
And most importantly, if you’re going to do jumping jacks, you better do them right aka totally naked at a fast food establishment of your choosing. It’s not like Brody was standing in the middle of the restaurant meat spinning for the customers. He hid in the bathroom privately and kept to himself.
I see zero problems here. Cased closed.
sidenote: The employees were so afraid of this man that they let him jump around naked in the bathroom “all day”. ALL DAY. I’d argue that 5 minutes is about 4 minutes and 59 seconds too long but these guys let him rock for at least a full 8-hour shift. There are no rules at McDonald’s.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Brody Young just wanted to get his fitness in. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.