jebediah ezekiel

Guy Arrested For Attacking The McDonald’s Golden Arches After They Refused To Make Him 30 Double Cheeseburgers

Police say a 37-year-old man was far from lovin’ it when workers at a McDonald’s restaurant in Oregon refused to make him 30 double cheeseburgers and tried to destroy the golden arches.

The News-Review reports that police arrested Jedediah Ezekiel Fulton on March 16 on suspicion of second-degree disorderly conduct, second-degree criminal trespass, second-degree criminal mischief and harassment.

Authorities say Fulton became upset when the fast food restaurant in the western Oregon town of Sutherlin declined to make his order. Police say he destroyed a banner and then attacked the arches.

The Sutherlin Police Department says he also grabbed a person’s shirt and that a witness afraid for that person’s life pulled out a gun.



Okay, this guy’s name is Jebediah Ezekiel. Clearly, he is a time traveler or some shit so when he runs to the cashier demanding 30 double cheeseburgers, you better make that man 30 double cheeseburgers. He is obviously on a mission and needs this food more than anyone else in that restaurant. My man is here to warn us about Skynet or whatever.

Also, just make the sandwiches, McDonald’s.

30 cheeseburgers at a fast food cheeseburger spot isn’t that wild of a request. Jebediah Ezekiel could have very well been catering a graduation party or something and wanted a spread of 30 burgers.

Make the sandwiches.

This place deserved to be vandalized. The more I think about it, the more I’m flabbergasted that they denied this man.

Make my fucking order.

300 burgers, okay yea this guy is on drugs or he’s pulling an extremely lame prank. 30 burgers, he has a lot of guests coming over and wants quick food for everyone.

Make the burgers.

Finally, it’s impossible for me to ignore the last line of this story. ‘A witness afraid for that person’s life pulled out a gun’. I hate this place.

Imagine you are totally stressed out running to McDonald’s for burgers for a party you forgot about until the last minute and the cashier tells you that they won’t make your order. You’d freak out too. Now imagine some asshole, the type of asshole who order McDonald’s in store and eats it, in store, sees you yelling and pulls a gun out on you.

Just. Make. The. Fucking. Burgers.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Jedediah Ezekiel is from the future. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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