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Greg Bird is Dead, Luke Voit Killed Him

Sooooo it turns out that I may have spoken a littleeeee too early last week when I said that the only reason why Luke Voit was on the New York Yankees was because he and Aaron Boone were having an affair. My bad. That’s on me.

This weekend, the New York Yankees went to Baltimore and swept the Orioles out of their own city and a huge impact player in that sweep was Luke Voit who hit 3 homers over the weekend with 7 RBIs.

Here’s what Luke Voit had to say about his massive weekend:

“It’s almost September, the playoffs are right around the corner. I never got to experience the playoffs, and this is my chance to kind of show them what I’ve got and I’m just having fun with it.”

Aw look at Voit out here having fun and Greg Bird is somewhere still swinging in slow motion at a 94mph fastball that zoomed right past him directly in the middle of the plate while his bat is just getting off his shoulders.

I love Greg Bird. I haven’t been shy about that. Search ‘Greg Bird’ on Deadseriousness and you will see a vault full of Bird propaganda that I may or may not have to quietly delete in the middle of the night considering that Luke Voit is out there looking like Jason Giambi and Bird has the bat speed of a statue.

If Voit keeps hitting like this, can we talk about how insane this lineup is going to be in the playoffs when everyone’s back and healthy? Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton, Gary Sanchez, Aaron Hicks, Didi Gregorius, Miguel Andujar, Gleyber Torres and now Luke Voit. Jesus.

David Price is slamming his arm in his car door right now just to hit the DL and avoid pitching against that lineup. Trevor Bauer is running his fingers through his drone blades as I write this.

Now, I’m not giving up on Greg Bird yet. Perhaps I’m biased towards all lefty’s, as we are the superior race. I don’t trust this Voit character yet. Even I could hit a home run or two against the Orioles. Let’s see him in the playoffs against Andrew Miller with the game on the line because I know Greg Bird hits a home run in that spot. Luke Voit? Who knows?

JK Voit is astronomically better than Bird. Greg Bird is dead. Luke Voit killed him.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Luke Voit just murdered Greg Bird in cold blood. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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