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Gary Sanchez Would Be The Best Baseball Player in the World If He Cared About Baseball

On Monday night, the New York Yankees lost 7-6 to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in a game where you could literally point the finger at one player and directly blame him for the loss. Gary Sanchez went out of his way to make sure that the Yankees lost that game.

Sanchez started the game off strong with a huge error that gave the Devil Rays a quick bullshit run after Sanchez did his favorite thing in the world: letting a pitch roll in the dirt right past him. Except this time, he decided to walk slowly over to the ball as a baserunner was rounding the bases like the ball was hit to the warning track.



At this point, the Yankees might as well put a cardboard cut out of Gary Sanchez back there behind home plate because it’ll probably have a better chance at stopping balls from hitting the backstop than Sanchez is.

I don’t have the Sanchez minor league scouting report in front of me, as you guys know I always do, but the team had to have known that yes, he has an A+ bat but he simply is not quick enough to move as a catcher. He’s 6’2 230lbs and he moves like he’s 6’2 330lbs.

But Sanchez wasn’t done not giving a shit about baseball. Nope, with the bases loaded and two outs in the bottom of the 9th inning in a 1-run game, Sanchez rocketed a ball to second base and then chilled in the batter’s box expecting the Tampa Bay defense to turn an easy double play but instead, Aaron Hicks busted his ass and was safe on second base. When the ball was fired to first base, Sanchez wasn’t even in the frame.

As I write this, Gary Sanchez is still walking to first base.

In 2016, Sanchez hit 20 home runs in just 53 games. I bought all of the Sanchez stock that was on the market. In 2017 he was an All-Star and won a Silver Slugger award. 2018 is here and Sanchez is batting .188 and every time he steps up to the plate he looks like he would rather be anywhere else on the planet than in the batter’s box.

Gary Sanchez should be the best player on Earth. Right now I should be tweeting out lame jokes like ‘Gary Sanchez makes Yogi Berra look like Yogi Bear’. But instead I’m tweeting this out:




Would love if Sanchez worked on becoming better behind the plate. With Greg Bird at first and Stanton on the team for the next decade and most likely destined to become the designated hitter, Sanchez’s only spot on this team is the catcher. Wish he would like, try.

All Sanchez has to do is run to first base.

I can’t be on Twitter anymore as he jogs like it’s drizzling outside and he’s trying to get from his front door to his car. There is something very triggering about seeing a bunch of old white guys call a minority ‘lazy’. Sanchez, please run for ALL of us.

I love Gary Sanchez. I just wish HE loved winning baseball games. He seems to enjoy the attention and fame from playing in New York. If he wasn’t on the New York Yankees then no one would know who he was and we’re about one more of these games away from finding that out when he’s playing in Cincinnati and Matt Harvey is winning Game 4 of the World Series for the Yankees.

Be better, Gary.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re still hanging out with me on Gary Sanchez island. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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