Remember when we all thought the end of the world was coming in the Battle of Winterfell but all that did was give everyone a few scratches and the actual end of the world is Daenerys having a day.
But let’s put a pin in the whole Mad Queen thing considering I don’t have much to say about that. If anything, it’s strange it’s taken her this long. But we’ll table that discussion for a later date because there are levels of bullshit that I don’t have the energy at 2am to explore.
Quick shout out to Varys who spent his entire life manipulating leaders and starting coups only to be undone by openly discussing treason with Jon Snow in broad daylight.
My man committed treason and then stuck around to see what happens live knowing damn well that Daenerys got a Master’s degree in the King Joffrey school of ‘fuck mercy’.
Speaking of which, your surrender bell means nothing. Didn’t you hear her? “Let it be fear”. It’s a wrap for everyone.
There is a woman on a dragon burning down the city. We are past the point of waving white flags. You had your chance before you beheaded the dragon queen’s best friend.
Enter Arya Stark, who somehow became a superhero who is invulnerable to any and all harm.
How many times can this tiny girl hit her head? Your skull can’t be leaking out every two days. That’s a brain hemorrhage. Every time.
Homegirl went full ‘COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE’ and proceeded to immediately let that woman and her child die. On Mother’s Day, of all days.
At least she got to say goodbye to her father, Sander, before he fought his brother in a battle that should’ve occurred a year ago as opposed to the literal end of the world where both men would be dying regardless of who won the skirmish.
I’m trying to not complain about the ‘writing’ because that’s not a fun way to consume a show in which a boy gets thrown off the top of a castle and gains the ability to control birds but it’s pretty chill how it was exponentially harder to kill The Mountain than it was to kill the fucking NIGHT KING.
This ‘last war’ 1000% lasted longer than the ‘Longest Night’. And Jaime Lannister was stabbed more times and survived than again, THE NIGHT KING.
I’m glad Jaime got the opportunity to finally leave Cersei, fight for the living, knight Brienne, take Brienne’s virginity, leave in the middle of the night, get captured by Daenerys and held as a hostage even though he, like Varys, is committing treason, smuggled back into King’s Landing, gets stabbed a bajillion times by Euron, still manages to muster the strength to murder Euron, has one final embrace with the woman he abandoned, and then romantically died holding her and the sky fell and crushed him, his sister/exgirlfriend and their unborn child.
What a day, amirite???
What I Needed More Of
You know for a fact Sansa was back in Winterfell worried sick wondering if everyone was well fed and taken care of. Right now she’s stressfully typing up the Winterfell 4th quarter financial report while she’s sipping on her Venti iced latte.
Who Won The Episode?
After all these years, Drogon finally went from sixth man to MVP. He’s this year’s James Harden.
Daenerys finally utilized having a dragon at her disposal. Only took her letting two dragons get brutally murdered for her to realize that all she has to do is fly BEHIND the gigantic arrows pointed at her and breathing fire when in proximity. Genius.
Drogon is smoking a cigarette right now like ‘maaaaan, you won’t believe the day I just had at work’.
Can’t wait to see how they kill Daenerys in the finale while she’s sleeping in Drogon’s arms but Arya can literally do whatever the fuck she wants apparently so chances are, she’ll kill the dragon with one little stab in the foot.