Fuck The Dallas Cowboys, The Los Angeles Rams Are Now ‘America’s Team’

There is some strange misconception that the Dallas Cowboys are still ‘America’s Team’ like they were referred to back in the 70’s when Tom Landry was the head coach and helmets were made of old newspapers.

Even the Troy Aikman led Cowboys happened over 20 years ago. Dallas hasn’t won a Super Bowl since 1995. I am prepared to lie and say ‘I wasn’t even born when the Cowboys last won the title’ for the sake of this argument but the fact that it’s even in the realm of possibility proves my point.

We are getting to the point where kids aren’t automatically following the Cowboys just because they’re dads are forcing them. No, new dads grew up in the era when Quincy Carter and Jon Kitna were the starting quarterbacks and they were missing the playoffs regularly.

To an entire generation of people, Michael Irvin isn’t the coked up wide receiver that helped Dallas win titles. He’s the coked up TV analyst that Steve Smith is trying his hardest not to choke out every Thursday.

America deserves better. There’s an offensive EXPLOSION in the NFL. Teams are breaking yards and point records left and right. It’s a brand new league.

Meanwhile, Dallas finished 22nd in total yards and 22nd in points per game. This is the most popular team in the country? Drew Brees and Patrick Mahomes putting up historic seasons and Dak Prescott throwing 2-yard screen passes? Word.

You know who deserves the crown as America’s Team? The Los Angeles Rams.

The Rams were second in the NFL in both points and yards this past season. Their offense was prolific. This is what we want to see. Touchdowns and bombs down the field. But it’s more than just scoring, which again, the Cowboys STINK at.

The Rams represent America completely. I mean first of all, they play in Los Angeles. Hollywood is America. Celebrities. Movies. Oscars. ‘Beauty’. A quarterback that looks like Ryan Gosling’s brother. Much much worse looking brother but still Gosling-ish enough to still be considered handsome by some people.

The Rams represent capitalism. Look at Ndamunkong Suh who signed a 1-year $14 million deal in the offseason simply because Los Angeles was the highest bidder. That is capitalism 101.

And they have the young genius, Sean McVay, running the whole team. America is the only place where a man that young can even have the opportunity to have this success.

And only in America can a white man in his 30’s get a management position without a resume full of management experience over more qualified and deserving people because his grandfather was important to the industry or whatever.

Only in America can the white guy get all the credit for the accomplishments of a primarily black workforce. What is more American than what is happening in Los Angeles right now with these Rams.

Fuck the Dallas Cowboys. They’re old news. Long Live The LA Rams.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.


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