Fuck Justin Verlander

Justin Verlander will go down as one of the greatest starting pitchers in Major League Baseball history. 2 Cy Young awards and a MVP. Pitchers don’t get to win the MVP. Verlander has one. He’s good at throwing baseballs past batters. He has 3,006 career strike outs which is 18th all time. He is a future Hall of Famer for sure.

He’s also one of the biggest hypocrites and garbage cans in MLB history.

Verlander is constantly taking the high ground on issues in the game of baseball that don’t directly affect him in any way until the moment those issues show up at his own backyard when he then becomes disturbingly quiet.

A few years ago, a Houston Astros AA player, Danny Vasquez was cut after a video was released of him hitting his girlfriend. Here’s what Justin Verlander said about the whole story:

Real quick, Justin Verlander used a middle finger emoji which means ‘fuck you’ so saying ‘fuck you you man’ is a strange sentence but this all has to do with Verlander’s low low IQ.

Regardless of the dumb grammar, Justin Verlander is pissed and wants this domestic abuser to face any and all consequences ahead of him. Same. Feel you. This is the correct stance to take and if we all gathered around to shame these men then we could significantly reduce the number of abusers in the world.

Love that energy, Justin.

Anddd then in 2018, the Houston Astros traded for well known domestic abuser, Roberto Osuna. Osuna, who was still in the middle of serving a 75-game suspension, became Justin Verlander’s newest teammate.

Remember, the last Astro who hit a woman received a ‘fuck you you man’ from Verlander.

Here’s what the same man said about the acquisition of Roberto Osuna:

“It’s a tough situation. I think the thing for us to remember here is that the details have not come to light. We don’t know the whole story. Obviously, I’ve said some pretty inflammatory things about stuff like this in the past. I stand by those words.”

“… I just want to listen. We don’t know the details of much. I haven’t paid attention to [Osuna’s legal case] for obvious reasons — it wasn’t really in my life. Now it is. That’s probably going to be a personal thing that stays in the locker room and won’t be talked about publicly, as those things are.”


The same man who just jumped off the top rope to demand the public execution of a random double AA player suddenlyyyyyy wants to wait for all the facts and keep his opinions ‘in-house’ with Osuna.

It’s almost as if, it’s easy to puff your chest out and declare yourself as the king of social justice until those same disgusting acts land on your 25-man roster and could be the final piece in helping you win a championship.

Fuck Justin Verlander.

I wish that was the last of the Verlander bullshit but unfortunately, it turns out the 2017 Houston Astros cheated to win the World Series. They used cameras in the outfield to read catcher’s signs and then relay those messages instantly to the dugout where someone would then bang a trash can to let the hitter in the box know what type of pitch was coming.

Here’s what Verlander said back in 2017 about sign-stealing:

We don’t have somebody, but I’m sure teams have a person that can break down signals and codes and they’ll have the signs before you even get out there on the mound,” Verlander said.

“It’s not about gamesmanship anymore. It used to be, ‘Hey, if you can get my signs, good for you.’ In the past, if a guy on second (base) was able to decipher it on a few pitches, I guess that was kind of part of the game. I think it’s a different level now. It’s not good.”

Remember, the 2017 Houston Astros stole signs. Verlander was on the team. As they were cheating. Again, Verlander watched it happen live.

Weird that in that same cheating season, Verlander came out and declared how awful cheating in baseball was very much like when he dunked on that AA player who hit his girlfriend before having absolutely nothing to say about Roberto Osuna.

So here’s what Justin Verlander said about the Astros cheating to win during his Cy Young speech at the Baseball Writer’s dinner in New York this past weekend:

Justin Verlander is one of the greatest pitchers we’ve ever seen. He’s also a massive dirtbag who pretends to care about issues for retweets and pretends to care about the sport of baseball while simultaneously participating in the biggest cheating scandal since the steroid era.

Oh, I’d be remiss to not mention that he’s buddies with Donald Trump. Verlander plays in a sport where a majority of his coworkers are Latin. The same Latinos that Trump has spent his entire political career attempting to blame for all of American’s problems when in actuality it is Trump himself who is the face of the corruption that has derailed the economy.

I don’t want to hear that he ‘won’ in life because he’s married to a (former) model. No one has given a shit about Kate Upton since 2012 when she did the cat daddy in a bikini. Homegirl hasn’t done a damn thing since. Someone just read that previous statement and had to google ‘what is the cat daddy?’ 30 seconds after googling ‘who is Kate Upton?’.

Let’s be real and say that if Kate Upton was truly a top model then she wouldn’t have been in Detroit, Michigan banging Justin fucking Verlander. You didn’t ‘win’ for wifing up a woman that no one in a similar tax bracket was attempting to wife up. Who was he competing with? Overweight guys on Instagram with 80 followers that post eggplant emojis on all her photos?

Justin Verlander is 37 years old. There is no way he can sustain throwing 100mph forever and the second his velocity drops, it’s a wrap. In 2019, he was 2nd in the American League with 36 home runs allowed. We are on the precipice of seeing Verlander completely implode on the mound and I cannot wait until his skills match his personality: trash.

Fuck Justin Verlander.






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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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