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Francisco Lindor And The Great Mets Robbery

The New York Mets were the stars of the offseason. They had a new billionaire asshole purchase the team from the Wilpons who behaved as if they were living out of their cars and desperately needed the cash. They had several staffers involved in various completely separate sexual harassment claims. And they traded for Francisco Lindor and gave him the BAG.

Makes sense. Lindor is a 4-time All-Star, 2-time Gold Glove shortstop and perennial MVP candidate at age 27. He earned that payday and he’d be the best infielder the Mets have had since ever so yea, give him $350 milly. Duh.

Sike. Lindor STINKS.

Francisco Lindor is currently batting .163 this season after a wonderful 0-for-4, 2 strikeout outing against the St. Louis Cardinals on Monday evening. He’s hitless in his last 24 plate appearances. He’s batting .063 with RISP.

$341 million.

But can you blame Lindor for this heist? If someone guaranteed you over $300 million over the next decade to do well at your job, what are the odds you actually do well at your job? Once I put my signature on that contract, I’m immediately burning through my sick time and PTO.

You’re stuck in Flushing, Queens playing for the New York Mets. The only chance you have to win is when Jacob deGrom is on the mound. The other 4 days are a nightmare. You have Pete Alonso being a goofy dweeb in your ear on road trips probably quoting iCarly and chewing with his mouth open.

Happy for Mookie Betts, Mike Trout, Giancarlo Stanton, Bryce Harper and Manny Machado signing mega deals and earning every penny but Francisco Lindor is just built different. Y’all keep going out there and trying to get hits, Lindor will be vibing for 9 innings and then refreshing his TD Bank app in the clubhouse after another 0-for-4 night.

Nothing but respect for this king. Fuck you, pay me.

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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