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FiveThirtyEight Predicts New York Knicks Will Have The Worst Record in the NBA…I Disagree

What Happened?

Nobody is expecting the Knicks to be a playoff contender this season without Kristaps Porzingis, but prognosticators are predicting that things are going to be pretty bleak this season.

Per FiveThirtyEight’s CARMELO system, which factors each player’s future performance based on trajectory of similar NBA players, the Knicks are expected to finish dead last in the league, with a 23-59 record and one percent chance of reaching the playoffs.



Nate Silver, you bitch. First, you convinced us that there was no way Hillary Clinton wouldn’t be president and now you’re trying to tell me that the New York Knicks will be the worst team in the NBA? How, Sway?

There isn’t a universe in which the Brooklyn Nets are 13 wins better than the Knicks. What is happening here? Are we watching two different sports? Is Kenneth Faried the CFO there? Kenny Atkinson moonlighting as a social media assistant? Nah b. This is garbage.

The Knicks are going to be bad. There will be many angry nights where the Knicks blow a 4th quarter lead to the Charlotte Hornets and I spend all night throwing darts at a photo of Frank Kaminsky.

But the Orlando Magic are 9 wins better? Real quick quiz: How many Kevin Knox’s do the Orlando Magic have? Zero? Okay, and how many do the Knicks have? They have one. That is significantly more Kevin Knox’s.

David Fizdale is a good coach. He’s not Jeff Hornacek out there who looked like he coached Frank Ntilikina an entire season and never learned his name. Fizdale actually cares.

And this isn’t a Porzginis-less team that can’t put the ball in the bucket. Trey Burke can score 20 whenever he wants. They can feed Enes Kanter’s wack ass for 20 points easy. Mario fucking Hezonja.

Get FiveThirtyEight out of here with this garbage. The Atlanta Hawks are better than the Knicks? We’re really acting like adding Jeremy Lin and Vince Carter makes them better than New York? I’m furious.

When the Knicks win the championship, I want/need FiveThirtyEight shutdown when that final buzzer sounds.


Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think FiveThirtyEight is wrong and bad and dumb. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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