Elon Musk, Future Super Villain, Is Building a ‘Tiny Kid-Sized Submarine’ To Save Thai Soccer Team Trapped in Cave

What Happened?

Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk said on Saturday that he is building “a tiny, kid-size submarine” to rescue the 12 Thai boys and their soccer coach infamously trapped within the submerged Tham Luang cave complex. According to the Bangkok Post, a nine-person engineering team assembled by Musk has already begun to arrive in the area.

Officials were originally relieved to locate the group at all after it became lost in the cave system during heavy rain on June 23rd. But the soccer team’s situation has grown more dire as of late with the threat of further seasonal monsoon rain, and the death of a former Royal Thai Navy special forces diver sent to bolster dwindling oxygen reserves.



This developing story about 12 Thai boys trapped inside of a cave underwater is scary and anxiety-inducing. Their way out is narrow and flooded and it’s taken Navy Seal level divers to get down there. It’s such an arduous task navigating these caves that one diver has already lost their lives attempting to swim through monsoon rain for 4 hours.

Enter Elon Musk.

Here is a man casually building rockets and sending cars into space and shit and we just let him and his sketchy ass ‘SpaceX’ company build whatever they want. No doubt in my mind they have Blade Runner robots in their facilities serving them coffees and performing sex acts on the employees.

Elon Musk doesn’t want to save these kids.

He only wants an excuse to make a weird kid-sized submarine for whatever disgusting reason and wants some good PR before he uses that submarine to send children to his underwater slave camp.

Stay woke, people.

Sure, we need those kids out of that cave ASAGDFP but is it worth making a deal with the devil? There is a 1000% chance that Musk walks away with those kids DNA for some awful side project where he builds the perfect Thai ladyboy or something. But I reckon you can put that last project in the ‘necessary evil’ category but the point remains.

Keep Elon away from the children. Keep him away from the seas altogether.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Elon Musk is up to no good once again. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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