I’m not 1000% sure that Elon Musk and Grimes are real life human beings that exist. There is no way these cartoon characters are actual people. This relationship is a Black Mirror episode where we all plug into a video game and live through our avatars.
Elon Musk is the CEO of Tesla and SpaceX. He shoots rockets into space for no reason other than the fact that he knows how to shoot rockets in space and no one seems to bat an eye over this random ass guy having complete control of our atmosphere. This man is one bad day away from becoming a supervillain shooting lasers from satellites in space.
No one man should have all this power. Every day that we wake up without an alert on all of our televisions with Elon Musk standing in Times Square demanding all of the bitcoin in the world or he’ll sink Manhattan into the Atlantic Ocean with his own personal Earthquake machine, is a pretty good day. We’re all on borrowed time.
Grimes is the human embodiment of a bisexual community college freshman girl’s Tumblr page come to life after she broke an ancient spell by accidentally reposting the wrong combination of Anime screenshots and amateur porn gifs.
Every time a girl in high school cuts herself, Grimes gets one more day on Earth. She looks like a Final Fantasy character from a little boy’s first wet dream. She is the hair that Britney Spears shaved off her head during that mental breakdown placed on top of a mannequin in an American Apparel store.
Grimes is when a manic pixie dream girl and a suicide girl have a child with a Harley Quinn cosplayer in the bathroom of a local Brooklyn art exhibit where all of the art on display is made entirely of period blood and popsicle sticks.
What are the chances that Elon Musk created Grimes in a lab? 1000%? Good for him? Should we be calling the police?
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think this Elon Musk Grimes relationship is a group hallucination. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.