Aubrey…why have you forsaken me? For as long as I can remember, Drake has been the face for all of us fuckboys who are noncommittal and thoughtless. Those of us who are so confusing that you have no choice but to ask ‘what are we?’ even though you know we’re going to say in response ‘I just can’t do a relationship right now’.
Drake was THE fuckboy. Our king.
“She just wanna smoke and fuck, I said, girl, that’s all that we do.”
THANK YOU, Drake, for normalizing this type of flaky behavior. I was getting away with murder after Nothing Was The Same came out. Do you realize how many girls names I didn’t even care to learn when If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late came out? We had a perfect game going.
Andddd now Drake is blowing it with Nice For What, a song that is encouraging women to stand up against the bullshit that he helped popularize for so many years. I honestly feel betrayed.
That’s a real one in your reflection
Without a follow, without a mention
You really pipin’ up on these niggas
You gotta be nice for what to these niggas?
Chill, Drake. Don’t bring Instagram follows into this. All summer long, girls are going to be mean to me now because Drake made them finally realize that they don’t have to be nice to me. It’s a wrap for my dating life. Long gone are the days of me telling a girl I ‘like’ and then disappearing for a month.
And he brought in the X-Factor sample too? Me vs. Lauryn Hill. I lost.
It’s OVER for my 2am ‘hey, what are you doing?’ texts. The second Big Freedia starts talking at the beginning of this track I knew it was the end of my ‘do you want to split the check?’ ass.
Yo, Drake is even turning Rashida Jones against me?!? It’s going to be a real cold summer for me taking 5 hours to respond to texts while she’s listening to Nice For What on repeat, doing pushups, counting her money and realizing that she can do way better than me.
I only text her, man, I never call.
Remember this Drake?! Dear Drake, if the fuckboy is still in there, please answer me. Blink twice if you’re being held hostage.
Madonna is one of my favorite Drake songs. Let’s walk through it, in verse one, Drake is telling a girl that he’s going to take her out. ‘We should go out, we haven’t talked in a while’. I’m pretty sure I’ve texted that to a girl word for word. It’s very fuckboy-ish to randomly hit up a girl that you purposely haven’t spoken to and then putting the onus on her to agree to hang out again when emotionally, she had for sure moved on.
You could be big as Madonna
Just get in the car and then let’s touch the road
Don’t make other plans
Drake is preparing this girl for the night of her life which is quite fuckboy-ish to overhype what will most likely be an average meal followed by below average sex. Making promises you can’t keep is fuckboy 101. Freshman shit.
And then the master brings it home in verse two when he tells this young lady ‘We’ll see how I feel, we’ll see if you hold up your end of the deal’ shifting all of the pressure on the woman to be good enough for YOU. Fuckboy jedi mind tricks.
He then reassures her that she doesn’t need to dress up or try to impress him which is clearly the move when your plan is just to hump. Sure, wear sweats or whatever. Get comfortable. We’re Netflix and chilling, girl. Classic Drake.
Here’s my theory: this is all a part of Drake’s master plan. After about a decade of being the face of us fuckboys, he needs to switch his game up. Girls have had enough of his nonsense. So he constructed this master plan of making an anthem for women so he can sneak in through the back door.
Everything this man does is calculated. It was super cool when he handed out all of that money for the God’s Plan music video but at the end of the day, he didn’t need to record that on film. He could’ve just handed out all that money and the story would’ve caught on and went viral but like, he didn’t need to play God’s Plan over it.
Tracee Ellis Ross too? Et tu? Drake, you diabolical genius.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Nice For What marks the end of the fuckboy era in your life. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.