Earlier this week, Drake dropped the first official photos of his son Adonis as well as that weird kid’s mother and I can’t stop thinking about how uncomfortable those three must have been during this awkward ass photo shoot.
Drake with his son Adonis pic.twitter.com/kkUbAqfe8l
— Rap Direct (@RapDirect_) March 30, 2020
Let’s start with Drake, who decided to mean mug in a photo with his family. There is nothing cool about this and there’s certainly nothing cool about Drake. I’ve seen too many photos of my man hugging up against NBA players to ever consider him ‘cool’.
Drake looks like every mall kiosk asshole that stops you in an attempt to sell you a cheap phone case but it’s always for a Windows phone that single parents give their teenage kids so they can send super low-resolution pixelated jpegs to their creepy boyfriends.
Drake looks like the mechanic that says something in another language about your wife when she pulls up to the Jiffy Lube for an oil change and although you don’t speak that language, you just know from his tone and the smirk on his face that it was about her ass.
The mother, miss Sophie Brussaux, is probably a very nice woman. She’s also not unattractive.
Still have to make fun of her though. She looks like if Stephanie McMahon listened to Future instead of Triple H’s Motorhead albums. She looks like her headbutts would put a hole through your skull and she would be completely unscathed.
Sophie Brussaux has biiiig ‘let me speak to the manager energy’ which I imagine has only been accelerated times a million now that she can officially start posting photos of her wack ass kid and wack ass Drake.
Personally, I would wear a condom but shout out to Drake, who without a doubt bragged about his pull out game before failing to pull out after 3 minutes of meaningless grunts and here comes this blonde French Canadian Jewish boy who seems incapable of closing his mouth.
I love this family of scammers. Drake tricked us into thinking he was cool and tough even though Pusha T bullied him into becoming a family man. This woman’s womb gifted her OVO checks for eternity. And look at this little brat. You know he’s about to sell you a stolen hummer one day.
Long Live The Drake’s.