Don’t Let Conservative Psychopaths Define Your Masculinity

Conservative Republicans continue to be the whiniest cry babies on the Internet as they are once again pouting about gender. Harry Styles wore a dress in a magazine. 99% of the people reading this website saw that photo and just kept scrolling while 1% lost their minds about men becoming women and America being on fire or whatever. Masculinity died today.

Let’s start this off with big dumb asshole Candace Owens being a big dumb asshole.


Candace Owens is under attack, apparently. Imagine seeing a magazine cover of a random celebrity and turning into some bullshit about ‘Marxism’, the completely fabricated boogeyman that conservative thought leaders use to frightened their easily terrified base.

“The East knows this”. Ah yes, the East. The region known for their overwhelming masculinity as they stan K-pop teen-looking boys shaking their asses. The Kingdom of masculinity for sure. Again, just finding any way to create a nonsense culture war and scare her followers into believing China is going to take their wives away.

Naturally, the arbiter of masculinity entered the chat.


I love Ben Shapiro—a hairless boy with a high-pitched voice—attempting to define gender norms. Last month he came out and said that his wife told him she doesn’t get wet because wet vaginas indicate a medical issue. My man’s wife has to lie about her health in order to make Ben feel better about his total lack of masculinity yet he is somehow the voice of how men should be behaving.

Ben Shapiro’s existence is an example of how gender is a spectrum. You don’t need a beard and an ax to be a man. In Ben’s case, you also don’t need to satisfy your wife and you’re still a man.

And of course we couldn’t have this conversation without stopping by Aubrey Huff’s torture chamber of rage, misogyny and extra base hits.

Everyone knows this. Duh.

Thank you Aubrey, for taking a moment out of your busy day of crying about having to wear a face mask at the grocery store to enter the masculinity discussion. You see, to Aubrey Huff, masculinity is defined by telling dudes online that you fucked their significant others and reminding people daily of your athletic achievements

Reminder: this all stemmed from Harry Styles wearing a dress in a magazine that people don’t read. Who gives any shit about this outside of bad faith sociopaths who exist exclusively to get social media engagement that they can then bring to the Chuck E. Cheese front counter and exchange for rent money and a cool guitar pick(!!).

I am tall. I have a deep voice. I have a beard. None of that matters. You know what makes me masculine? I don’t go online and cry about men wearing dresses. If your masculinity is completely hinged on how accurate you can shoot a gun or how fast your car is or how many women you trick into sleeping with you then you are not a man. You’re a little boy pretending to be a man.

Just be kind to people. Show up when you’re needed. And for the love of god, can someone get Candace Owens some chapstick and help Ben Shapiro’s wife get wet.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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