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Donald Trump’s Right Hand Man Michael Cohen Gets [Akon Voice] LOCKED UP

What Happened?

Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump’s former lawyer, was sentenced to 36 months in prison on Wednesday for a large number of crimes, including tax evasion and illegal campaign contributions.

Judge William H. Pauley III of the Southern District of New York handed down the sentence, knocking six months off the prosecution’s recommended sentence of 42 months. Pauley also sentenced Cohen to two months in prison for the crime of lying to Congress during his testimony in conjunction with Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, though that charge will be served concurrently with his three-year term.

He’ll also be shelling out a considerable amount of money: forfeiting $500,000, $1.4 million in restitution and a $50,000 fine.


Donald Trump’s Ex-Lawyer, Michael Cohen was sentenced to three (3) years of prison today after pleading guilty to tax evasion, campaign finance violations and lying to Congress about Trump blowing Russia’s genitals.

For the last decade, Michael Cohen served as Donald Trump’s ‘fixer’ as he was the guy in the dark parking garage paying people off and threatening people to keep Trump’s nonsense private. It’s a good gig if you can get it.

And the Trump actually became president and it turns out, you can’t be a lowlife New York City criminal in the Oval Office paying off sex workers and Russian oligarchs. 

Cohen hid and laundered money to avoid paying taxes. He used campaign contributions to pay over a couple porn stars that Donald Trump humped and he lied to Congress about the dates in which he talked to Russia about building a Trump Tower in Moscow.

And with that, 3 years in prison. HAHAHAHAHA. You just hate to see it.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you feel bad for Michael C—HAHAHAH nevermind. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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