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Donald Trump Jr’s Wife Rushed To The Hospital After Opening Up a Letter Full of Mysterious White Powder

Donald Trump Jr.’s wife was rushed to a Manhattan hospital on Monday when she opened an envelope addressed to her husband that had a mysterious white powder inside — which turned out to be corn starch, law enforcement sources told The Post.

The NYPD’s elite Emergency Services Unit, a hazmat team, the department’s Intelligence Bureau and the Secret Service, the Department of Environmental Protection and the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force all responded to the scene.

Investigators determined that the substance inside the envelope was corn starch, sources said.

(NY Post)

I really hope Vanessa Trump learned a valuable lesson here: don’t open up your husband’s mail. What’s the bigger crime: sending fake anthrax or opening up another citizen’s mail? Let’s remember, opening someone else’s mail is a federal offense. Vanessa Trump is lucky that a quick hospital visit was the only consequence.

Imagine living in a world where people hate your dad so much that they’re sending chemicals to murder you via FedEx. Also, imagine marrying a rat-faced dweeb for his money and opening up his mail to see if there’s a check inside you can deposit ‘for him’ only to see that there’s a mysterious chemical inside that was meant to murder him because people hate his father so much.

Dating is hard.

That’s the face of a woman who opens your mail, rummages through your garbage and complains to Town Hall if your garden barely touches her front yard. She looks like corn starch.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Vanessa Trump should serve jail time for her crime. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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