Dion Waiters Is Going To Lead The Los Angeles Lakers To a Championship

I’ve been hard on Rob Pelinka for being a scammer who gets a lot of credit for lucking out on LeBron James deciding to play in Los Angeles and forcing Anthony Davis to come with him but the Lakers team president finally stepped up and made a 3D chess maneuver in signing the GOAT: Dion Waiters.

Sure, Waiters has had a bit of a tough season thus far. My man had a panic attack on the Heat’s team plane because he had too many weed gummies but why are we acting like flying isn’t stressful as hell?

If edibles help him relax then mind your own business. The problem was those gummies were just too delicious to have only one and next thing he knew, he woke up in a hospital bed with a 10-game suspension.

Dion Waiters has only played 3 games this season which means while everyone is worn out from the wear and tear of the year, Waiters is coming in fresh as hell to save the Lakers.

LeBron and Dion are going to get along famously. They already have a common enemy. Not many people remember this story but back in 2013, Dion Waiters beat the shit out of Kyrie Irving after a game resulting in a black eye and broken nose. Waiters denied it at the time but based on everything we know about Kyrie now, would it surprise you if he asked Dion to define ‘government’ and Waiters just ragdolled his ass?

Waiters is a career 38% shooter from behind the arc and he’s a far superior scorer than Jared Dudley or Avery Bradley. Everyone on the Los Angeles Clippers can get a bucket on any given play.

The Lakers need LeBron to get them open otherwise their shit out of luck. Even Anthony Davis struggles sometimes to take advantage of what would appear to be clear mismatches. Who is taking a defender to the basket off the dribble? Alex Caruso?

Dion Waiters is a certified bucket-getter who used to demand that his college teammates call him “Kobe Wade“. He once said he’d rather shoot 0-for-30 than 0-for-9 because stopping at 9 shots meant he lost his confidence.

These are the types of heroes that win you random playoff games. LeBron will have a bad game. Anthony Davis will have a bad game. That’s when Dion Waiters, the iso god, steps up and wins the Lakers a chip.

I’ll see you all for the championship parade held exclusively on Waiters Island where I’ve been stranded here alone for nearly a decade with nothing but weed gummies. The Dion Waiters led Los Angeles Lakers in 4.






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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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