Tyson Fury got his head punched off his shoulders by Deontay Wilder and then popped up right before the 10 count like he felt a spider crawling on his leg pic.twitter.com/516X7b2g6A
— Dead Serious (@Deadseriousness) December 2, 2018
— SHOWTIME Boxing (@ShowtimeBoxing) December 2, 2018
Saturday night was the highly(?) anticipated heavyweight title match between the loud brash Deontay Wilder who spent the week as a meme and is still a meme ‘TO THIS DAY. TO THIS DAY’ and Tyson Fury who looks like a Mike Tyson Punchout character from the 90’s came to life and quickly discovered Vodka.
The fight saw Tyson Fury take control for a majority of the fight only to catch a left jab from Deontay Wilder in the 11th round and hit the canvas like when Ant-Man turns into Giant-Man in Captain America: Civil War and they all have to trip him over. But then Tyson stood up right before the 10 count like he smelled smoke in the kitchen
The match would end in a draw which will certainly inspire a rematch.
But do we care about heavyweight boxing?
To be honest, I only watched because the pre-fight antics were wild. Deontay Wilder screamed in Tyson Fury’s face about how black people have been enslaved for 400 yards and I’m a sucker for a good racially charged fight. That’s why Family Feud works so well. It’s almost always a black family vs. a white family. I see you, Steve Harvey.
Deontay Wilder was shouting in reporters’ faces all week. The man was on a murder mission. Then the fight started and for like, 7 rounds, there were barely any punches thrown. Boxing stinks. Just when punches actually start flying, both men hug and clinch and rest on each other’s shoulders thus ending the punching spree. Fun to watch.
Long gone are the days when Mike Tyson would threaten to eat an opponent’s children and we were all like ‘yo, Mike Tyson is going to eat that dude’s family’. No one is biting ears anymore. No one wants a knockout. They just want to survive all 12 rounds.
How can I care about boxing when I can’t name a third heavyweight fighter? There are no stars. The biggest star is Tyson Fury who has the upper body of my old middle school lunch lady and the lower body of the other middle school lunch lady.
Boxing stinks and I can’t imagine spending money to see two men who pretended to hate each for a month, just hug and throw fake jabs until the final bell rings and their bank accounts get filled. Hard pass,
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you are now excited about boxing for some reason. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.