Derrick Rose Is The Last Human on Earth Who Should Be Writing a Book

In an excerpt of I’ll Show You published in the New York Post, Rose wrote Jackson was “forcing” the Knicks to run the triangle despite the offense not fitting the team’s personnel:

“I don’t say much, but Phil could tell. Phil was telling me to be patient. He said I had a lot going on with the [sexual assault] trial and all. He was honest with me. Everything he talked to me about, he was honest, I’ll say that.

“Our relationship was a little weird, though. He was cool the whole time I was there, but he wanted that $60 million he was owed by the Knicks.

As for me, I liked Phil, but, come on, man, you’re still running the triangle? He was still forcing them to run it. I’m a slasher, a driving point guard. The triangle is okay, but not for the personnel we had. Melo couldn’t play that way, didn’t want to.” (BR)

The big headlines coming out from the release of Derrick Rose’s new book are pull quotes about Rose claiming that he believes he’s a Hall of Famer and his retelling of his time in New York playing under Phil Jackson.

That’s all fine and cool but are we going to all act as if Derrick Rose is the man we believe can sit down at his laptop and successfully jot down his thoughts and feelings to fill an entire book?

Derrick Rose’s book should be a coloring book where you just color in basketballs and sneakers and shit. The fact that he’s telling his ‘story’ is interesting to say the least.

Rose eats his own boogers. He can’t read an analog clock. He drinks from a sippy cup. There is no way that Derrick Rose has ever read a book. *whispers* are we sure he can even read?

Oh, and he doesn’t know what consent is.

Especially considering that he fucking raped a woman and mentions it as if it was some hurdle he had to jump in order to go back out there and ball. The fact that his rape case is talked about as if it inconvenienced HIM and not the woman he raped is insane.

I don’t want to hear about how much he overcame obstacles in Chicago growing up and playing at Memphis and being drafted No. 1 and winning an MVP. You should’ve written this book in 2010.

Post-rape, nothing you say matters.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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