Derrick Rose is an Objectively Bad Basketball Player Oh, And He Raped a Woman…Fuck His 50 Point Game

Derrick Rose is bad a basketball and has been for quite some time now.

On Wednesday night, the 30-year old scored a career-high 50 points in a 128-125 victory over the Utah Jazz. He then cried after the game and the internet went nuts. Everyone and their mothers were praising Rose like he is such a wonderful man that we should all be rooting for.

I get that if you’re from Chicago, Derrick Rose was a king. He started from the bottom and then stole an MVP award he didn’t deserve from LeBron James. I totally understand the reverence for that man. In 2011. That was 7 years ago.

Since then, Rose has suffered nonstop knee injuries that robbed him of his athleticism. Then he became a weirdo.

When playing for the New York Knicks, he just didn’t show up to a game. He no-called no-showed an NBA game the same way I used to just not show up at my shitty retail job without calling out first because I didn’t feel like it.

Then he did the same exact thing last season with the Cavs as he took a random ‘break from the team’ just because he felt like it. Now he’s in Minnesota with his former Chicago Bulls head coach, Tom Thibodeau, giving him shoulder rubs and whispering ‘you’re my little baby boy’ in his ear while Rose goes 3-for-13 shooting from the field and gets embarrassed on defense nonstop.

Aw, look at Derrick Rose so happy that he’s crying. He’s overcome so much adversity. You know, like that time he and his boys gang-raped a girl.

In August 2013, a woman claimed to be drugged by Rose and his two buddies and then raped while she was unconscious. Then his defense on the incident involved demanding that the woman go public with her identity, attempting to make her seem like a slut and Derrick Rose not even knowing what ‘consent’ means.


In his June 17 deposition, lawyers asked Rose about consent. One of Doe’s lawyers read aloud that section of Rose’s sworn deposition—which is not available to the public—during today’s press conference. Here is that segment that was read aloud to reporters on the call:

Question: Do you have an understanding as to the word consent?

Derrick Rose: No. But can you tell me?

Question: I just wanted to know if you had an understanding.

Derrick Rose: No.



Nope. I do not give a fuck if Rose scored 50 points.

He shouldn’t even be playing basketball right now. But let’s put a pin in that. I want to go back to Derrick Rose, the basketball player for a second because people are going to yell at me for saying he’s not good at it.

Prior to Rose’s 50 point fluke game, he went 4-for-16 shooting for 11 points. The game before that, He went 5-for-13 for 14 points. I can probably continue going back every single game but I think you get the point. He takes too many shots and misses most of them.

In an NBA where everyone is shooting 3’s or getting to the basket, Rose takes these awful looking fadeaway jumpers with a defender’s hands in his face. And again, he’s not a good enough shooter to be taking jump shots. And he can’t step back and take 3’s. Rose is a 29% 3-pointer shooter in his career.

I watched him every night when he played with the New York Knicks. The man straight up doesn’t even know where he’s supposed to stand on the court. Whether it’s on defense or on offense, whenever he doesn’t have the ball in his hands, he’s lost.

There is a 1000% chance that I can beat Rose off the dribble and I do not know how to dribble. Defensively he’s a turnstile. But it’s not just that he’s bad at it. He doesn’t even seem to comprehend what he’s supposed to do.

Derrick Rose is dumb. You want to know how I feel confident calling him dumb? Because he was on the stand during his rape trial and straight up said he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ means. Yes, we are back on the rape case. In fact, that’s kind of my point. It is impossible to talk about what Rose does on a basketball court after reading what he did to the woman.

And I do not want to hear that he was acquitted. Being acquitted from a crime doesn’t mean the crime didn’t happen. It was a verdict by a jury of his peers. Do you recognize how dumb Derrick Rose is? I don’t want his dumbass ‘peers’ deciding important trials.

I don’t give a shit about this man scoring 50 points. Steph Curry, Klay Thompson and Blake Griffin all had 50 point games this month. 50 points isn’t that special. And as far as I know, they have raped a grand total of zero women. Let’s go back to exclusively celebrating them and forgetting this Rose game ever happened.

Blake Griffin has overcome more adversity than Rose has with the same lingering injuries and being dumped for Kendall Jenner and being shipped to Detroit. You didn’t see that man crying.

Get this rapist the fuuuuck out of here.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Derrick Rose should never be celebrated and should probably be in handcuffs. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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