Denzel Valentine Is Going To Have a Phenomenal Career With The Shanghai Sharks

The Chicago Bulls are fighting for the 10th seed which is a hilarious sentence to type and read back to myself. The NBA’s need play-in tournament has allowed the bottom of the barrel teams to scratch and claw for the opportunity to get swept by the 1 seed and Denzel Valentine is doing his best to make sure the Bulls start their offseason early.

With the Bulls down 5 with about 55 seconds left in the 4th quarter, Denzel Valentine decided to pull up from 35 feet away with 20 seconds left on the shot clock for absolutely no reason on Earth. A thunderous brick and the Bulls obviously went on to lose that game against the Miami Heat.

Valentine is averaging 7 points and 32% from 3 this season. There is no logical reason why he should ever be taking any shots let alone a potential game-defining shot from fucking halfcourt.

The only explanation I can think of is that Denzel is done with the NBA and he’s trying to get some Chinese Basketball eyes on him. That Jimmer Fredette/Denzel Valentine pick-n-roll is going to be undefeated overseas.

Imagine trading for Nikola Vucevic at the deadline only to be clinging onto the 11th seed and having Denzel fucking Valentine chuck up heat checks with the game on the line for no reason. Yike.

Congrats to the Sharks for their 2022 championship though.

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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