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Dear White Super Heroes, Stop Going To Asia To Learn Kung Fu

So I’ve watched about 30 minutes of Iron Fist on Netflix and I had to pause it because I’ve seen this origin story a bajillion times over and over again yet these new stories keep coming out and re-releasing the same nonsense.

Dear white super Heroes, stop going to Asia to learn Kung Fu.

Danny Rand, AKA Iron Fist, gets into a plane crash and ends up being raised by monks and trained in Kung Fu only to return to the Western world as the savior of K’un Lun.

But not only does he unlearn to unlock his ki to ignite a glow in the dark fist that obliterates random street toughs but he becomes the greatest Kung Fu expert in the land. Some entitled rich kid survives a plane crash and all of a sudden he’s punching through dragon hearts and now he’s the greatest at a skill that he acquired late in life. He’s not very good. We are led to believe he’s the best. Better than the actual Kung Fu masters who trained him.

Also, step your budget up Netflix. Don’t keep telling us there was a dragon. We want to see dragons. We deserve it after what Game of Thrones gave us in that final season. Pathetic.

Bruce Wayne‘s parents get murdered so naturally he heads to Asian to lean Kung Fu because how else would one cope with such a lose? Everyone knows when tragedy strikes, you take the first plane to a tiny civilization in the mountains of Eastern Asia and learn martial arts with the League of Shadows. As one does. Duh.

I just watched Doctor Strange maybe an hour ago and guess what happens? A white superhero goes to Asia and learns Magic (and some kung fu). Stephen Strange breaks his hands and needs ‘The Ancient One’ to help him unlock Asian witchcraft to heal him because of fucking course.

I know many of these origin stories were written in the 70’s but now that all of these tales are being told all at the same time, it’s hard to not scratch your head at how all of these origins are actually the same.

White superheroes got all of their powers and abilities from Asia. Meanwhile, there are barely any actual Asian superheroes. Their job in the comics is to give the white superheroes their powers and get the fuck out of the way.

Oh, also Iron Man gets captured by Middle Eastern terrorists. Green Arrow learns archery from an Asian man when he gets stranded on an island because Asian men have complete knowledge of all martial art disciplines as well as weaponry such as bows and arrows now too.

Dear white super heroes, stop going to Asia to learn Kung Fu.

 

 

 

 


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Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think these old white super heroes need new revamped origin stories. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

 

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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