Dear ESPN, Keep Tom Thibodeau Off Of My Television

Every time I close my eyes I see Tom Thibodeau’s pained grin. What is this, ESPN? Who decided it was a good idea to hire the man whose outdated coaching philosophies and inability to maximize Karl-Athony Towns got him fired from Minnesota? And whose idea was it to give him an entire bottle of muscle relaxers during the commercial breaks?

Tom Thibodeau smiles like he is an alien shape-shifter trying to blend in with the humans. Thibs smiles like there is a gun pressed to the back of his head and he has to make it seem like everything is fine and good or else he’ll get shot.

Actually now that I think about it, thank you ESPN for hiring Thibs. No telling what this man is capable of doing without a full-time job keeping him occupied. ESPN just saved countless lives.

What an awful looking man. His thin hair and Paul Pierce’s wispy mustache make fantastic birth control for anyone trying to get it in real quick before an NBA game starts.

That’s the smile of a man who just killed their third teenage girl and who just got the local news push notification that a third girl has gone missing and that it might be connected to the previous missing girls. You get the point I’m making. Thibs has a weird smile.




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Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

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