The 2020 NFL Draft is pretty much the only thing we have to look forward to on the sports calendar considering a plague has left the world bare and void of any sort of entertainment outside of documentaries about tiger murders.
Let’s pretend like the world isn’t ending and that the NFL season will start on time even though it definitely won’t and it certainly should not.
Here is the Deadseriousness 2020 Big Board:
1. Tua Tagovailoa QB
Did we all collectively forget that Tua Tagovailoa is one of the greatest quarterback prospects in NFL history? It’s insane to me that he’s projected to go 5th because of his season-ending hip injury as if he’s the first player to ever get injured his senior year.
Does his injury history suddenly affect his pass accuracy? No. And shout out to people doubting his success by saying he was surrounded by talented Alabama offensive playmakers as if he’s going to an NFL team that will be less talented than a college football team. Guys, come on.
2. Chase Young DE
At 6-foot-5 and 260 pounds combined with blazing speed, Chase Young might become one of the best defensive ends in NFL history. He’s better than Nick Bosa—his former Ohio State teammate—and Nick Bosa basically dragged Jimmy G’s bitch ass to the Super Bowl last season while Jimmy was spending all his nights with Dee Williams and Regan Foxx.
Plus, Chase Young isn’t a racist MAGA asshole like Bosa so you can actually root for his success.
3. Isaiah Simmons LB
Linebacker. Edge Rusher. Safety. Nickel Corner. There is nothing Isaiah Simmons cannot do on defense. He excels at every position and in the modern NFL, that versatility is going to make Simmons a future Defensive Player of the Year.
4. Jeff Okudah CB
As a Huskers fan, fuck Jeff Okudah.
5. Jedrick Wills Jr. OT
Jedrick Willis gave up only 1 sack and 3.5 quarterback hurries in 714 snaps at Alabama last season. I could be wrong in saying that he’s the best offensive lineman available but I will later explain why he’s better than the alternative.
6. Derrick Brown DT
If you read the Deadseriousness Big Board last season, then you know I feel a type of way about interior defensive linemen as Ed Oliver was No. 1 on the list. Took all of my strength to not do the same with Derrick Brown. Is this growth? Have I matured?
7. Joe Burrow QB
Wait, why are we suddenly pretending like the best statistical college quarterbacks always automatically translate that success into the NFL? Remember all of those MVP duels between Matt Leinart and Vince Young that was only interrupted by those historic JaMarcus Russell seasons? Yea, neither do I. Joe Burrow is Brandon Weeden with a better social media team.
8. Andrew Thomas OT
Sometimes you draft a player based on their superstar potential. But more often than not, you’re drafting a player in hopes that they will be consistent enough to be a quality starter for the next decade. The latter is Andrew Thomas. I don’t think he’ll go down as one of the greatest in his generation but whatever team selects him will have a reliable tackle on their line for 12 years.
9. CeeDee Lamb WR
CeeDee Lamb is a run after the catch gawd. He’s like DeAndre Hopkins’s hands combined with Odell Beckham’s speed off a quick slant aka the perfect wide receiver. You can throw it up to him with a corner draped all over him and he’ll without a doubt come down with that ball and he can outrun any safety. Mad decent.
10. CJ Henderson CB
I don’t love putting a cornerback in the Top 10 when they didn’t record an interception in their final college season but I also didn’t want to put two wide receivers back-to-back, which I am realizing now is an arbitrary bullshit reason.
11. Jerry Jeudy WR
Jerry Jeudy came out and said that he wears the Star of David around his neck because his nickname is ‘Jew’ and has already had to apologize. He very well could be more talented than CeeDee Lamb but when assessing wide receivers, you have to factor in their Terrell Owens-ness.
12. Tristan Wirfs OT
I read a report this week that New York Giants GM, Dave Gettleman, is interested in Wirfs which means Wirfs probably stinks. That being said, when a big boy from a farm college is available in the Top 10, you take them. It’s literally the only reason why Iowa exists. Creating offensive lineman and destroying presidential elections.
13. K’Lavon Chaisson DE
Although K’Lavon suffered a torn ACL in 2018, it’s safe to say he’s probably the second best pass rusher in this draft behind Chase Young and he’ll most likely fall to a better organization where he can’t be isolated and double-teamed. Defensive Rookie of the Year might end up on Chaisson’s resume soon.
14. Jonathan Taylor RB
I feel gross putting a running back on this list but I also have an article in my drafts about the Atlanta Falcons winning free agency because they signed Todd Gurley so I don’t even know what I believe in anymore. Live is crazy right now. Coronavirus is a real threat and who knows what our future holds. Here’s a fucking running back. Whatever.
15. Javon Kinlaw DT
Give me all of your defensive tackles. If I was an NFL GM, my entire defense would consist entirely of interior linemen. Aaron Donald over a Bosa brother any day. He’s 6-foot-5, over 300 pounds and looks like he could score 30 points a night in the NBA.
16. Mekhi Becton OT
Look, if you came to the Deadseriousness Big Board looking for in-depth analysis of offensive linemen then 1.) thank you, I love you. 2.) Wait until you hear about ESPN. You’re going to lose your shit.
17. Justin Herbert QB
Never trust a quarterback who has the opportunity to be a Top 3 pick in the draft but chooses to go back to school to get their degree. That’s a guy that does not trust his future in the NFL. Justin Herbert gets comparisons to Joey Harrington and not just because they went to Oregon. It’s because they’re pretty ‘blah’ quarterbacks.
Maybe Justin Herbert will turn into the next Ryan Tannehill. Cool.
18. Henry Ruggs III WR
Henry Ruggs recorded a 4.27 40-yard dash time. Decent speed. Not up to my numbers but he’ll get there if he keeps training. I don’t love his ability to run routes and actually play receiver but uh, if he’s going to out run everyone then that shit doesn’t matter.
19. Patrick Queen LB
I just realized I’m ending this list with a couple of LSU players showing that I pretty much mostly watched LSU football this year and I did the least amount of research possible for this Big Board. There’s a PANDEMIC, okay. I don’t have time to watch film. I have to keep my lungs and respiratory system at ease.
20. Justin Jefferson WR
I don’t know if Justin Jefferson is that good or if LSU’s offense was just collectively next-level so everyone’s stats are super inflated but I do have dreams of Daniel Jones throwing deep to Justin Jefferson to win their 5th consecutive Super Bowl. Dream small.