David Price Was Born To Give Up Infinity Runs To The New York Yankees

On Sunday night, David Price pitched a solid 3 1/3 innings and gave up 8 runs and 5 home runs to the New York Yankees. The Yankees went on to win that game 11-1 and win the series against Boston. As it was written.

Here’s what David Price had to say about his performance:

“I’m not going to let a bad start define my season. It’s time for me to go back to that drawing board and kind of reinvent myself against these guys”.

Yea, no shit. David Price has an ERA of 8.43 against the New York Yankees ever since he put on that Red Sox uniform and a 10.44 ERA at Yankee Stadium. It’s my favorite part of the ‘rivalry’. The Yankees literally have a mole planted within the Red Sox organization created with one purpose: giving up BOMBS to the Yankees.

Brian Cashman did it again.

Earlier this year, Price faked a hand injury to avoid playing against the Yankees. Apparently he has carpal tunnel syndrome from too many video games which is a made-up illness from the mid-2000’s when kids played World of Warcraft too long and got cramps. I’m a millennial too, David. I know you’re making this shit up.

This weekend, he had nowhere to hide. He did his best Sonny Gray impression and was absolutely ROCKED.

David Price was so bad that he let Kyle Higashioka, a player who had entered the game with zero career hits and nothing but awful at-bats every time he stepped up to the plate prior, hit a huge home run.

I have complete confidence that if I put on pinstripes and stepped into the batter’s box against Price, I’d hit a 500-foot homerun without even swinging the bat. He’d miss the strike zone and accidentally throw the ball off my bat sitting on my shoulders and it would just land in the bleachers.

David Price is my favorite pitcher of all time.



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if David Price is your favorite pitcher too. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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