David Price is So Afraid of the New York Yankees That His Body is Going Numb and Had To Be Sent Home Back To Boston

David Price sent home. Scratched from tomorrow’s start. The numbness in his hand has come back. Getting tested. Rick Porcello pitching instead.

— Evan Drellich (@EvanDrellich) May 8, 2018

David Price is an objectively bad pitcher and especially against the New York Yankees as he has a 4.67 ERA against the team which sounds surprisingly low considering every time he faces Gary Sanchez, he gives up a BOMB that lands in the parking lot.

Price is 1-4 with an ERA of 8.22 in his last five starts so he was about to get completely obliterated by Giancarlo Stanton and Aaron Judge before his ‘hand went numb’. Miguel Andujar would’ve stuffed Price in a locker and Gleyber Torres would’ve stolen his lunch money. I’m laughing just thinking about Tyler Austin pancing Price in the middle of the Bronx.

Here’s what Boston Red Sox manager, Alex Cora, had to say about the injury:

“We decided it was better for him to go back to Boston and check it out and go from there,” Cora said. “I’m not saying he will miss the next start or be a DL situation here, but we want to make sure. We thought it was a one-game thing, but I was concerned when I heard about this on Sunday. His health is most important. The more we know about this situation the better it is going to be for him and the team. … I told him your health is more important than just one or two starts now.’’

I get the feeling that David Price’s health will suddenly go back to normal when the Red Sox leave New York. Can you really blame Price for his fears? If I had to pitch against Didi Gregorius, I’d go numb too.

This is natural human evolution. Fight or flight kicks in when we are faced with danger. David Price’s instincts are ‘flight’ as he is currently back home in Boston watching the Red Sox lose from the comfort of his own bed and a stress ball in his pitching hand.

Everyone give your Thoughts and Prayers to David Price for being so terrified of playing against the Yankees that he had an anxiety attack. *fake cough* pussy *fake cough*.

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think David Price is faking his injury to avoid the Yankees. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.