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Danuel House Is Alarmingly Horny

Danuel House and Tyson Chandler were inactive for Houston’s game 3 loss against the Los Angeles Lakers for ‘personal reasons’. There was a real elephant in the room regarding House’s absence. In Game 2, House played 27 minutes and scored 13 points. He is a valuable part of the Rockets rotation and game plan and was just gone with no explanation.

Wellllllll, we’ve got our explanation. Danuel House and Tyson Chandler are horny as hell.

It is being reported that the NBA is investigating Danuel House for bringing a female Covid-19 testing official into his room Monday night. When asked by the NBA, the woman did not mention House’s name but said she was with Tyson Chandler which is why Chandler was also inactive.

The NBA made a rule that you cannot fly out any hoes into the Orlando bubble which means unless you’re married or have a long time girlfriend, you’ve been sexless for months stuck in a hotel room alone every night. Danuel House solved that problem. Why try to sneak women into the bubble when there are custodians and nurses and shit already IN the bubble. *temple tap*

I just need to know what type of game House was spitting to this Covid tester while she was shoving a q-tip all the way up his nose. Horny levels through the roof in the bubble right now. The Rockets are in the middle of a series with LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers. The biggest games of Danuel House’s career and he is trying to hump like, the ESPN camera crew and the hotel cleaning staff.

The best part of this story is Tyson Chandler’s potential involvement. Here is the story from The Athletic:

A woman entered the Rockets’ team hotel on Monday night, passing multiple security checkpoints before being flagged for her entry, sources said. She exited the hotel in the early hours of Tuesday morning, and the league cited early data points that implicated two members of the Rockets, House and Tyson Chandler, sources said. When the woman was questioned by NBA security, she did not implicate House’s name and it is uncertain whether she remains on campus, sources said. She claimed to have contact with Chandler and another player, not named House, according to sources.

This is amazing. One of two things could’ve happened here.

Either 1.) She banged Danuel House for some reason and then to avoid getting into trouble, House told her to say Tyson’s name because he isn’t in the rotation and Chandler getting in trouble wouldn’t negatively impact the Rockets.

or 2.) She ALSO banged Tyson Chandler and proudly told the NBA about that while being mega embarrassed about her time with House so she was like ‘uh, I don’t remember his name but yes, Tyson Chandler for sure blew my back out’.

All I know is that Danuel House risked it all for a Coronavirus test volunteer because his horny levels were so alarmingly high. Let’s just be glad he didn’t burst a rib trying to suck his own dick.

 


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TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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