Dak Prescott is the starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys aka ‘America’s Team’. He is the engine the drives the machine that sells the most jerseys, tickets, and DUIs leaving the stadium. And he also happens to represent everything that turns me off about the National Football League.
There are a number of reasons to not like the NFL.
In fact, there are far more reasons to dislike the league than there are to like it but it’s a great mindless sport to watch at a bar with your friends and your future ex-girlfriend as you consume wings that aren’t cooked thoroughly and drink squash flavored beers while you high five people who would make you hold your breath if they stepped onto an elevator with you.
But let’s first talk about how average Dak Prescott is.
There is nothing that Dak excels in. His arm is average. His mobility is average. He can’t really read a defense at the line of scrimmage and his decision making isn’t ideal. Without Ezekiel Elliot to hand the ball off to, he’d have no idea what to do when the ball is snapped to him.
If you love football, Dak Prescott is a problem.
Average football is miserable to watch. When teams can’t move the ball with any success, you’re basically stuck watching two punters have a kickoff for 3 and a half hours. The NFL needs guys like Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees constantly getting first downs and slinging the ball down the field.
The league has recently received an influx of new young arms like Jimmy Garoppolo, Deshaun Watson, Patrick Mahomes and Carson Wentz who are fearless winners that only want to throw the ball as far as they can. It’s like they know I’m watching and they’re trying to impress. It’s flattering, really.
But then there’s Dak.
Every single play Dak run seems like the biggest struggle. He looks like in some sort of Dallas Cowboys fantasy camp just going through the motions after paying $1,000 for an afternoon playing in Dallas’s home stadium and getting his own custom Cowboys jersey.
And I’m not saying he’s trash. Oh, how I would love Dak if he was straight trash. You know who’s trash? Nathan Peterman. You know whose games are must-see TV? Nathan Peterman. (Also probably definitely Josh Allen. TBD.)
When shitty quarterbacks play, it’s the most hilarious thing in sports. There is nothing I loved seeing more than Matt Stafford start the 2018 season against the New York Jets by tossing 4 awful looking interceptions.
I want amazing quarterback play or I want Nathan Peterman. Dak dumping the ball off for two yard gains before sending out the punt team all game long is painful to watch.
But to step off the field for a moment, Dak also represents every black player in the NFL that saw Colin Kaepernick get destroyed for protesting police brutality and chose to not defend the cause.
Not only did Dak not give a shit about the cause but he went out of his way to stand with his white brethren, toe on the line, for the National Anthem, just like old rich white Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones wanted.
Now, I get it. These are professional football players, not activists. Dak is a third year QB who is still on his cheap rookie deal battling for that big star quarterback guaranteed money. Financially, it does not behoove him to step out of line with management and the league.
I also understand that being the quarterback of your team means you’re essentially the leader of 53 grown ass men who all think and feel differently so you don’t want to divide a locker room by jumping off the top rope with a political stance.
It’s become very clear that if you kneel, you’re gone from the NFL and at this point, kneeling no longer means what it did back when Kaepernick was doing it in 2016. It’s been diluted and the message has been lost. I’m not at all saying that Dak needs to or ever needed to kneel.
But Dak running away from the idea with a quote like ‘I never protest’ is such a pussy ass move. I’d kill for a ‘no comment’ or ‘I’m just here to play football’ from this beige asshole. But ‘I never protest’ is such a bitchass quote.
He isn’t the only player to say nothing. He’s certainly not the only black quarterback to remove himself from the conversation but man, is he the most likely to be called to the stand in a courtroom and stand up shouting ‘IT WAS HIM YOUR HONOR’ and point to the suspect like the little narc that he is.
Dak Prescott plays unwatchable football and off the field, he’s a little bitch. He is the face of average quarterbacks. He’s the face of societal stagnation because he refuses to take a stand or have any real opinions. He represents everything I hate in the NFL.
And what makes things worse, he’s a Dallas Cowboy. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Dak. Boo this man forever. And once again, fuck the Dallas Cowboys. Also forever.