Conflicting Reasons to Drink (That Aren’t Really Conflicting at All)

Conflicting Reasons to Drink (That Aren’t Really Conflicting at All)

Thanks to social norms, you just have to search for good reasons to drink.

roger sterling

You had a bad day at work

“Goddamn it, my boss chewed me out in an email, the TPS reports were late and the internet  was slow all day. Fuck this, I need a drink.”

You had a good day at work:

“I nailed the Figueroa account, my review went great and I got a wink from that hot blonde in HR. Fuck this, I need a drink.”

beers

The weather is great:

“Man, the sun is out, not a cloud in the sky. I’m gonna go lie in the hammock, maybe do some grilling and make some boat drinks.”

The weather is shitty:

“It’s cold, damp, rainy and this mist is surely hiding aliens. This calls for a drink.”

olsen

Your sports team won:

“Can you believe that? Go sports team of my choosing! How about another beer?”

Your sports team lost (also known as the Cleveland Rule):

“Goddamn it, can you believe that? I can’t believe we lost. I need a cold one.”

wine glasses

It’s the weekend:

“Fuck it. It’s Friday, I’m getting FUBAR!”

It’s not the weekend:

“Goddamn, it’s only Tuesday? I need a shot.”

group drinking

It’s 1 PM:

“Dayload!’

It’s 1 AM:

“Let’s keep this party going.”

bickle

Your neighbor’s wifi is unlocked:

“Sweet! Let’s see what I can also mix with Malibu. I am not a drunk, I am creative and adventurous.”

Your neighbor’s wifi is locked:

“Shit, well I am pretty sure this Malibu mixes well with a half a Monster Rehab and green mustard.”


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Written by Kevin McFadden

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