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Colin Kaepernick is the New Face of Nike Proving Nike Understands Something That The NFL Fundamentally Refuses To Acknowledge

What Happened?

LET’S GOOOOOOO. Nikes for everyone.

Nike has named Colin Kaepernick the face of their company’s 30th anniversary in one of the biggest marketing moves that a company has made in years. Kaepernick is one of the most divisive people in America because he decided to protest police brutality during the National Anthem before NFL games.

If you say Colin Kaepernick’s name around most white people, they spontaneously combust. The literal mention of his name sparks debates in which one side says ‘the police murder unarmed black people daily so kneeling during the National Anthem to draw attention to that should be universally praised’ and the other side of the argument says ‘BUT THE TROOOOOOOOOOOPS’.

To some, Nike is taking a massive risk by backing Kaepernick here. They will for sure be attacked by the White House as the conservatives have used Kap’s protest as a chance to rile up their base, a group of people who care more about collecting pairs of camo shorts than they care about black people.

At first glance, it would appear as though Nike is losing business from Breitbart’s flyest dressers as people are posting photos of them cutting Nike checks off their socks and shorts but we’re not looking at the most athletic folk. The guy with the conspiracy theory blog isn’t really the target demo Nike is attempting to claim.

But in actuality, Nike is realizing something that the NFL, the league that blackballed Kaepernick and tried to threaten any other player that followed his lead. This is going to be a bombshell so everyone hold onto something before you read this:

*whispers* Black people have money too.

The NFL claims that these protests are affecting TV ratings, which is untrue as ratings are as high as ever, and before getting fired for saying the N-word more than the allotted zero times, Papa John’s came off the top rope claiming that his pizza sales were dropping because his customers didn’t like the kneeling during the anthem.

People were bending over backward to say that protesting during the National Anthem was bad for business. Teams wouldn’t sign Kaepernick because they feared it would alienate fans.

But Nike recognizes that, ya know, black people exist and also watch football. I mean shit, almost 70% of the NFL players are black yet the league is only concerned with white dollars. Remember when Black Panther came out and broke box office records and everyone was like ‘ohhhh, you mean black people also like movies? Like us white people?!?! Wow’.

Nike has known this from day one when they made Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods and the Williams sisters the face of their merchandise andddd they’ve been doing just fine over the years. Something tells me that hitching their wagon to Kaepernick instead of trying to get Donald Trump to stuff his kankles in a pair of Air Force 1’s is the correct business decision here.

Everyone go buy Nike stuff.







Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re about to buy all of the Nikes you can afford now. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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