Carmelo Anthony, Who Shot 21% From 3 in the Playoffs, Says Coming Off The Bench is ‘Out of the Question’

Carmelo Anthony was a garbage can this season. He was traded to the Oklahoma City Thunder to build a ‘Big 3’ with Russell Westbrook and Paul George and when their season was on the line against the Utah Jazz in Games 5, 6 and 7, Carmelo Anthony was sitting on the bench watching Westbrook brick shots of the side of the rim and Paul George, the defensive stopper, get beat off the dribble by Joe Ingles who looks the guy on the subway having a full conversation with himself.

Here’s what Melo had to say about his future in OKC:

“I’m not sacrificing [with] no bench role,” Anthony said during his exit interview on Saturday. “I think everybody knows I’ve sacrificed damn near everything, and was willing to sacrifice nearly everything for this situation to work out.”

Whoa, what exactly does Carmelo think he sacrificed this season to have ‘earned’ the right to start again next year? My man made $25 million and is set to opt-in for another $28 million for next season which would be an absolute heist for like, maybe the 7th best player on this team.

Did he sacrifice his life in New York? Because let’s all remember that like, a week before he waived his no-trade clause to move to Oklahoma City, it was reported that he got a random stripper pregnant and his wife, Lala, left him.

He didn’t make a ‘sacrifice’ moving to Oklahoma City. My man didn’t have a choice. After 14 seasons of being shit on by everyone for never winning a championship, playing with Westbrook and Paul George was his best chance at riding coattails to a chip because it became quite clear that he could not be the best player on the floor anymore after leading the Knicks to a fantastic 31-51 season in 2017.

Carmelo Anthony can’t play defense. His feet are cement. He doesn’t leave the ground when he jumps. Defensively, he’s literally moving in slow motion. You’re basically playing 4 on 5 defensively when Melo is out there winded.

So when you trade for him, you’re expecting the former scoring champion turned catch and shoot expert to make open jumpers but alas, Melo shot 21% from the 3-point line in the playoffs and could not make a wide open shot.

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Carmelo make a jump shot. This is the Mandela effect. Carmelo Anthony has never made a 3-pointer in his life.

Carmelo is right though. He shouldn’t be coming off the bench next season. He should be retired, spending the remainder of his days eating hot wings at the strip club and ignoring his wife’s phone calls. Destiny.





Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Carmelo Anthony should be playing in the G-League next season. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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