Cardi B Can Drug and Rob Me Whenever She Wants

Murder me, Cardi

There’s a lot to unpack here or at least the conversation surrounding this three-year old video would make you believe there’s a lot to unpack here. There’s actually not that much to explain or understand about this.

Cardi B went on Instagram live a few years back, clearly feeling a type of way, and went off on what she had to do in her past to get that cash. She admitted to offering men sex only to drug them and run their pockets.

Cash. Rules. Everything. Around. Me.

As much as we love seeing her on magazine covers or in Bruno Mars music videos or hanging out with Ellen or saying she’s going to dog walk Tomi Lahren, let’s not forget homegirl is a stripper from The Bronx.

We tend to discount how it’s borderline impossible to climb out of poverty in neighbors where everyone is struggling financially without extraordinary luck or committing some sort of crimes. Not condoning her actions but let’s not pretend like we can’t fathom how she could do such a thing.

You obviously can’t drug and rob people. Weird that needs to be said but in case that’s not obvious, you can’t drug and rob people.

That being said, let’s chill with the #SurvivingCardiB hashtag that totally diminishes the original Surviving R Kelly series where a man kept teenage girls hostage. He brainwashed and raped little girls. Cardi robbed a couple of guys. Let’s relax.

We don’t need to have the whole ‘if this was a man, he’d be canceled’ conversation. No shit. But like, *whispers* if a man drugged a woman in a hotel room, it would end with something WAY worse than a girl getting her watch stolen off her wrist.

Cardi B, if you’re reading this, and I assume you are, please feel free to drug and rob me whenever you want to. You don’t need to give a half ass apology to me.

Just pretending like you want to have sex with me is enough to get me through the rest of 2019. Take whatever’s in my pocket if it means I get to be in a hotel room alone with you. Drug the hell out of me. It’s fine. Still would be the best night I’ve had, ever(?)


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.


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