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Bury Me in a Jocelyne Lamoureux Team USA Jersey

BAAAAAEEEEEEEE.

 

The women’s US hockey team needed a shootout in order to snatch the gold medal away from Canada and the love of my life, Jocelyne Lamoureux stepped up and put Canadian goaltender, Shannon Szabados, in the torture chamber with a vicious triple move.

Just. Like. We. Practice.

This was a revenge game for Team USA after they lost the gold medal game in Sochi with all the stray wolves walking around those rundown Russian motels that the athletes had to sleep in. But just a quick reminder: USA > Canada.

Also real quick, round of applause to my backup bae, Jocelyne Larocque, who was not with the fuck shit.

Homegirl didn’t come here for your silver medals. No one wants a ‘you weren’t good enough’ trophy. My two Jocelyne’s won my heart this year. I mean, I’m never going to watch hockey again but for the time being, I love my Jocelyne’s.

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee with your favorite of the two Jocelyne’s. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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