Black Widow Is About To Be The Worst Part of the Black Widow Movie

Let’s start by saying that this movie does not need to be made. Or I should specify, this movie does not need to be made in 2020. Marvel didn’t believe a female superhero could win the box office and waited until Captain Marvel was a success like, 10 years later, to finally tell the story of a character who is very much dead in the current MCU timeline.

This movie doesn’t need to be made.

The first half of this trailer is Red Sparrow, a movie starring Jennifer Lawrence that came out about 18 months ago. How many times are we going to get the Russian spy origin story? Infinity times?

Who asked for the Black Widow origin, by the way? Over the course of all of these Avengers movies, we’ve pretty much received a decent understanding of how Natasha Romanoff came to be the Black Widow.

Black Widow isn’t the reason you should go see Black Widow.

Let’s talk about this cast consisting of Florence Pugh and Rachel Weisz, two of the top five actresses in the game today. You could easily make the argument that they are numbers one and two on that list.

(Not sure Scarlett Johansson sneaks into the Top 50. Go watch her dancing in Marriage Story and maybe we’ll figure out where she lands outside of the Top 200).

Florence Pugh starred in Fighting With My Family, Midsommar and Little Women this year. 2019 belongs to Florence and she’s about to steal Scarlett’s movie from her.

She and Rachel Weisz are going to put Scarlett through a table like the Dudley Boyz winning the tag team titles at Summerslam and that couldn’t be any more obvious than the second you hear them speak with a Russian accent and you’re reminded that Scarlett doesn’t because she can’t.

After watching The Americans, I made the excuse that perhaps Scarlett hid her accent to assimilate with American culture but even Keri Russell spoke with a Russian accent when she was conversating with Russians.

Even David Harbour breaks out the Russian accent that Scarlett is unable to pull off. She doesn’t even try. Really makes you question her stance that she should be allowed to play any gender or ethnicity considering she doesn’t seem to put any effort into playing different cultures.

Also it’s worth noting that we don’t see a villain in this trailer. Meaning, one of the three (much superior) actors are going to commit the classic spy movie double cross and turn on the team.

The obvious choice is David Harbour’s character, The Taskmaster, as he is a villain in the comic books but again, that’s obvious. Give me Florence Pugh vs. Scarlett Johansson asap. Winner gets all of those Marvel checks.

Black Widow sucks and this movie is unnecessary but I’m buying my ticket for Florence Pugh and Rachel Weisz.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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