Black Mirror – Striking Vipers: “I Fucked a Polar Bear”

It’s important to start off by saying that season 5 of Black Mirror was absolute garbage. Charlie Booker has run out of ideas and that’s totally fine but yea, is someone forcing him to continue making this show? If you don’t have any more clever stories to tell then, ya know, stop telling stories.

But paychecks, I reckon.

I say that to say that Striking Vipers has some complex homosexual themes that they skirted away from at the end but after watching the two episodes that followed the premiere, it’s safe to say that Striking Vipers was objectively the best episode of this trash ass season.

Every Black Mirror episode has an eerie tone where you think the fictional semi-futuristic universe is going to explode or bees or going to kill everyone…again.

So whenever there’s a hint of humor on this show, it hits twice as hard. Striking Vipers is essentially a dark comedy starring Captain America (which makes you feel better about the hour-long ‘no homo’ that you 1000% can’t do in 2019 anymore).

Anthony Mackie and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II play former best friends and college roommates who grow apart over the course of 11 years and reunite on his 38th birthday where Yahya gives Anthony an updated version of the fighting game they used to play back in the day except there’s a VR chip that puts you directly into the game.

Yahya never wavers from selecting the Striking Vipers version of Chun-Li, Roxanne, and Anthony chooses some other random fighter and yada yada they bang in the video game.

They then proceed to bang each other (in the game) on a nightly basis.

Not sure how the mechanics of the game works. I’m assuming the creators of the game made a feature where you can undress and hump freely, which is a strange feature to add to Striking Vipers but I don’t really play video games so maybe that’s the wave.

This episode reaches its comedic peak at their dinner scene where the two men finally meet in person after virtually banging the hell out of each other.

Anthony Mackie tells Yahya Abdul-Mateen that their video game affair was destroying his marriage so he cuts if off only for his wife to inadvertently invite Yahya to Anthony’s very intimate birthday dinner months later.

striking vipers


Then after finally getting one last bang out, Yahya tells Anthony that he loves him so they decide to have a hot rendezvous in the rain to talk about their feelings that leads to my favorite line in Black Mirror history.

“Just fucking kiss me, man”.

This episode was absolutely hilarious and I’m choosing to interpret it as a dissection of the way our relationship with porn affects our actual real relationships and I’m going to take the ‘bro, you’re totally gay, bro’ stuff as a joke to emphasize men’s inability to discuss their feelings with one another.

It all fell apart after Bandersnatch.

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Written by Deadseriousness


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