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Begging The Carolina Panthers To Hire Adam Gase

Sam Darnold has finally been released from the prison known as the New York Jets franchise as he’s been traded to the Carolina Panthers. Darnold went 13-25 in his wildly unimpressive 3 year career in New York.

Last season Darnold threw 9 touchdowns and 11 interceptions. Not sure why there was any debate regarding what the Jets should do with the No. 2 overall pick at the end of the month. They so clearly need a quarterback who isn’t constantly hurt or getting mono making out with strangers from the bar or ya know, battling with Joe Flacco for a job.

The Jets have historically been unable to develop a QB so Darnold didn’t stand a chance. From Mark Sanchez to Geno Smith to Bryce Petty to Christian Hackenberg to Sam Darnold, there’s something about putting on that boring ass green jersey that just makes you throw footballs directly at cornerbacks.

Sam Darnold’s career has been hilarious so far and moving to Carolina isn’t going to change a thing. Teddy Bridgewater is very much still on the roster. The Panthers also still have the no. 8 pick and thanks to racism, Justin Fields and his alleged poor work ethic, will most likely fall in their lap and now Darnold is in a 3-man QB battle.

The only thing funnier than Darnold finally being freed of the Jets only to become a third stringer and hold Justin Fields’s clipboard on the sidelines is Darnold actually winning the starting job but the Carolina Panthers firing head coach Matt Rhule and hiring former Jets head coach Adam Gase.

Here is my favorite Adam Gase story:

Per Manish Mehta of the New York Daily News, Gase has responded to criticisms this year by telling people “I’m rich as f–k.”

One Jets source told Mehta that Gase is “an insecure guy.”

“In fact, some people on One Jets Drive are convinced Gase or a family member has a burner Twitter account to monitor what is being written or said about him—and defend him if necessary,” Mehta wrote. “Gase didn’t respond to several requests from the News for this story.”

Please bring this forever flaccid-dicked sociopath to Carolina with Sam Darnold. Everywhere Darnold goes, I want Gase attached at the hip just grinding away at this kid’s confidence and self-esteem by being a petty narcissist with no understanding of how to run an NFL team.

Ryan Tannehill was able to escape the grips of Adam Gase’s clutches and ride Derrick Henry’s coattails into becoming a Top 10 talent. We cannot let that happen with Sam Darnold. Please please give these two a Cory Matthews/Mr. Feeny-esque relationship except instead of Feeny being a positive teacher in Cory’s life, he catches a DWI and begs Cory to come bail him out on prom night.

Hire Adam Gase asap.

 

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

One Comment

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  1. for the record, the jets, mets, and nets are my teams. i kinda lost love for the nets after they left nj, i used to go to continental airlines arena during the kerry kittles, kendal gill, keith van horn years. changing the color scheme is really what irked me, which is odd bc i actually prefer black and grey to blue and red, but i was just pissed that my team was changing. anyway, my point is that my favorite teams have always sucked for my entire life… and now there is some sense that things will get better for the jets. but the jets will find a way to fuck this up. so will the mets. idk about the nets, i think they might be ok this time around, but still… adam gase needs to disappear forever. seriously, it would be better to leave the head coaching position vacant all season than to subject our players to him. i’m going to play madden 97′ on gameboy and think this one over a bit more…. but i’m pretty sure it’s always a bad idea to think things are going to get better for the jets.

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