— CNN (@CNN) January 20, 2017
I’ve been wrestling with my feelings for months now but I think I’m finally ready to openly admit that I totally want to bang Kellyanne Conway. After seeing her rock a $3,600 Gucci outfit with cat embroidered buttons, I’m all in. No more shame in the game. I want to bang Kellyanne.
She is exactly my type. She’s twice my age. She’s blonde. She’s a crazy chick obsessed with cats. I mean, this is what I look for in a mate. The Inauguration was on her 50th birthday and she showed up in her dream Gucci attire. Cat head buttons and all. Absolutely insane. I’m so turned on.
On top of the fact that she’s definitely insane which means she’s down to do some wild shit in the bedroom (butt stuff), she was the greatest job in the world. Donald Trump just backs a dump truck of unmarked bills to her front door and all Kellyanne has to do is go on Fox and Friends and say ‘leave Donald alone, arrest Hillary’.
As someone who prides himself in the ‘fake it til you make it’ adage, it’s super attractive to see that Kellyanne Conway faked it all the way to being the president’s right-hand woman. The only thing hotter than her ability to lie is her crow’s feet.
She literally coined a new phrase for the Trump administration. ‘Alternative facts’ is what she said to describe Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, just getting up in front of everyone and clearly lying about the attendance number at the Inauguration. Lies are no longer a thing now thanks to my girl, Kellyanne Shakespeare. That’s a ride or die bitch all the way.
Kellyanne if you’re ready this, feel free to call. I will drop everything and come running.