Atlanta Braves Sign Jose Bautista So I Guess I Have To Hate The Atlanta Braves Now

Huge victory right off the bat for me as Jose Bautista didn’t even make the major league roster. He has to play in the minors to prove that he’s still good. Lester: 1, Jose: 0.

The Braves are working Bautista at his original position of third base, a position that he hasn’t played full time since a young man on the Pittsburgh Pirates before he went to Toronto and ‘magically’ hit 227 home runs from 2010 to 2015, including a career-high 54 homer season, again, out of nowhere. *sniffs from HGH allergies*

Yes, he is no longer playing with my arch nemesis, Josh Donaldson, on the Toronto Blue Jay but the hate doesn’t stop. Whether he’s playing in Atlanta or on their AAA team or he’s working the Braves concession stands, now that he’s back in baseball, the war is back on.

Jose Bautista is 37-years old and is essentially a bum now after posting a .674 OPS last season which was his lowest career mark as well as batting a disgusting .203 with a career-high 170 strikeouts. Is he even good enough to play minor league ball?

It’s safe to say that Chipper Jones’s career third base numbers are safe if/when Bautista gets called up but I’ll be there for every at-bat to watch him fail like a hawk. That was a strangely worded sentence but I’m not going to backspace. I meant I will be watching him like a hawk. Not that he is going to fail like a hawk. Hawks don’t fail. They are very successful animals. The cold brew I chugged is kicking in. I apologize.

Anyway, BOOOOOO Atlanta.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re just as excited to see Jose Bautista fail as I am. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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