White Supremacists Have Claimed Papa Johns As Their Official Pizza

Papa Johns not only makes awful watery sugary pizza to eat when you’re hungover to help you pull the trigger and vomit out all your mistakes from the night before but he’s also a cokehead racist and now the official pizza of the Alt-Right.

Neo-Nazis and white supremacists have always been distasteful, but now it turns out their taste in pizza is terrible, too.

The white supremacist website the Daily Stormer announced Thursday that Papa John’s pizza is the official pie of the alt-right, posting a picture of a pizza with a swastika fashioned from pepperoni slices. The caption reads, “Papa John: Official pizza of the alt-right?”

“This might be the first time ever in modern history that a major institution is going to be completely destroyed explicitly because of public outrage over their anti-white agenda,” Daily Stormer writer Adrian Sol posted, referring to the NFL and adding disturbingly, “The Negro fatigue caused by this whole NFL fiasco is reaching heights that even I didn’t fully expect.”

This makes sense. I mean, you could’ve told me 5 years ago that Papa Johns was the official pizza for white supremacists and I would’ve have answered ‘Yea, I know. Of course it is’. In every commercial, the Papa Johns CEO looks like he just came home from a clan rally and Peyton Manning was in his house making awful pizzas, waiting for him to come home.

Neo-Nazis love their terrible pizza. Top 3 things Nazi’s love: 1. Writing for the New York Times. 2. Papa Johns. 3. Interracial porn.

I’m just glad we’re not losing any good brands. Kendall Jenner ruined Pepsi and now white supremacists are taking the shittiest pizza. Thank gawd they haven’t touched Coca-cola or Dominos.



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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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