Alexa, Get UNC The Fuuuuck Out of Here

Everyone was hoping for a North Carolina vs. Duke Championship game and the Auburn Tigers were having none of that. It was a curb stomping from beginning to end. Auburn came out ready for war and North Carolina came out like they were wearing socks and had to run across a wet lawn to get to their mailbox.

The first No. 1 seed of the year has been eliminated thanks to Bruce Pearl and the boys who came out playing at lightspeed. Auburn looked like the No. 1 seed and UNC looked like they were afraid to play basketball.

The Tigers star, Chuma Okeke put up 20 points and 11 boards before suffering a leg injury with eight minutes left in the game. He needed to be carried off the court. Auburn continued to sit on UNC’s neck without him.


Auburn figured out something that college basketball teams have yet to discover: three-pointers are worth more than two-pointers. 37 of their 66 shot attempts were behind the 3-point arc.

This is how you win basketball games in 2019. Especially when the team you’re playing against is loaded with NBA loterry picks. You shoot three’s and you play with pace. The 30-second shot clock is absolutely absurd but Auburn didn’t waste a single second.

Soooo SEEEE YAAAA, North Carolina. After a boring tournament where the chalk won time and time again, we finally see a big upset. If you’re rooting for the No. 1 seeds and you aren’t from those schools, you’re a weirdo and I hope you’re very upset about what happened last night.

Zion deserves better competition.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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